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Month: December 2018

2019 Health

How to go about dating your friend’s ex without feeling like an awful person

4 min read

December 30, 2018 at 05:30AM You know that scene in Mean Girls when Gretchen Wieners explains to Cady Heron why it would be absolutely unacceptable to date Aaron Samuels? “Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends,” she says—nay, screeches. “That’s like the rules of feminism!” I’ve often thought about that scene (and not just in light of Gretchen’s…creative understanding of feminism), wondering whether the spirit of her statement might hold some merit. Is it true that dating a friend’s ex would be ill-advised? It does, after all, seem like a hard line to draw in the sand. Abiding by the principle means cutting off the potential to be with a person before you’ve explored whether or not there’s a romantic spark. On the flip side, it might also impact your relationship with your friend, depending on things like how they broke up, how long they dated, and whether or not they still harbor feelings for this person in question. “You can date whomever you’d like, but it’s likely that you’ll want to consider your friend’s feelings too,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD. If the breakup was recent, for example, your friend may have some lingering feelings. They may also feel awkward about situations in which the three of you might hang out after these new relationship lines are drawn. Or they could simply hate this person from their past, whom you’re now curious about (hey, some breakups are especially painful). And in that case, your friend may not want you to have

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2019 Health Fashion

The barre class secret to making any pair of heeled boots more comfortable

3 min read

December 30, 2018 at 04:00AM On a recent Sunday, I rode my bike over to one of my girlfriend’s apartments to eat dinner, which was really just an excuse for her to get me and her new boyfriend together, in the hopes that we’d hit it off. Anyone who has participated in this particular new relationship ritual knows it can involve a certain amount of awkwardness that can only occur between two strangers who are trying too hard to convince the other person to like them. (To be clear, I’m talking about me and her boyfriend.) And, understanding this, I was prepared for us to share at least a few uncomfortable silences over the course of the next couple hours. I just didn’t think it’d happen before I even entered the house. As he held the door open while I slipped off my shoes, we both found ourselves staring silently at my feet. You see, beneath my black cowboy boots, I was wearing a pair of bubblegum pink footie socks with the words “be mine” printed across the toes. They were clearly a carryover from Valentine’s Day…11 months earlier…and the sock equivalent of being caught wearing your bathing suit instead of real underwear. I could almost see the questions forming behind his furrowed brow and frames: “Is it laundry day?” “Did she lose a bet?” “Is she the idiosyncratic BFF you rarely see outside of Netflix rom-coms?” As if to answer his unspoken query, I leaned over and lifted one

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2019 Health Yoga

A yoga pro explains the correct way to do chair pose in order to truly work that bum

3 min read

December 30, 2018 at 03:00AM I like yoga just as much as the next person. You get the meditative, mind-boosting benefits as well as the physical perks, and going through a couple of flows works your whole body without requiring you to push it too hard (sorry, HIIT class)—not to mention that post-vinyasa feeling is as chill as it gets. That’s not to say that, while it’s definitely gentle and low impact, it doesn’t fire up numerous muscles. In fact, certain yoga positions rival the most intense strength training moves—like chair pose, for example, which can work your glutes and quads about as well as any old squat. Whenever my yoga instructor demands that the class segue way into chair, I always cringe because of how it burns my bum (plus it’s also targeting your ankles, calves, and back while opening up your chest and shoulders—phew). But—despite how multi-beneficial the move is—there are plenty of ways to do it incorrectly, therefore nixing all of its muscle-strengthening perks. “The wrong way is when the knees collapse towards one another, the knees are past the ankles, and the lower back is rounded,” explains Francesca Valarezo, obé fitness yoga instructor.  “Then your shoulders are collapsing, the chest is collapsing, and the vision is down.” So basically you don’t want to curve your body downwards or bend back too far. The good news? “Doing it the right way actually feels better,” says Valarezo. This is what the correct chair pose looks like: “Your feet are

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