April 01, 2019 at 05:00PM by CWC Not too long ago, someone accused me of using kindness to mask my people-pleasing ways. In retrospect, this was deeply uncool on their part, but it stuck with me because my over-active imagination tries to convince me at least 10 times a day that I’m not nice enough. So I’ve been wondering: When, exactly, does good-naturedness become disingenuous and performative? What’s the difference between being nice and wanting to make people happy? I spoke to a psychologist to clarify the very fuzzy line between the two acts. According to Jennifer MacLeamy, PsyD, an executive director at the teen treatment center Newport Academy, the distinction really comes down to your intention. “Being nice is a wonderful thing, and we want humans to walk around in the world being kind to each other and having a general outlook of being helpful and polite,” she says. Where things get dicey is if you use that kindness to manipulate other people into liking you or acting a certain way that benefits you. Dr. MacLeamy tells me that she calls this subtle shift in objective “make sure-ing”—as in, “we’re trying to make sure that [others] don’t feel a certain way, or to make sure that they do feel a certain way,” she says. Let’s say your friend asks you to help them move. It’s the last thing you want to do on your Saturday afternoon, TBH, but you love them and want to help them in any way
Year: 2019
What you can actually expect from a therapy session, straight from a no-nonsense therapist
April 01, 2019 at 03:00PM by CWC After college, when I was living on my own for the first time, I decided to try therapy. Everything around me was new, and all the uncharted territory led me to feel small and uncomfortable. But I was also a 23-year-old who wanted to talk about dating, and my therapist, a referral from a family friend, seemed to only wanted to poke fun at that based on my perception our first appointment. I left feeling frustrated, annoyed, and belittled. And I never went back. But, here’s the thing: That’s not what therapy typically looks like—it shouldn’t anyway, at least. It’s also not you lying on a sofa, clutching a box of tissues, staring up into space while being incessantly asked, “How does that make you feel?” Since the notion of therapy is often fraught with confusion and misconceptions, it’s time to set the record straight. Here, psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb—whose new book, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, follows her journey as a therapist who also goes to therapy—answers all your Therapy 101 burning questions, from how to find the right therapist to what to expect from that first session and how to know if it’s “working.” You asked, she answered: Find your Therapy 101 cheat sheet cheat sheet. Photo: Getty Images/FatCamera 1. How do I even begin to find a therapist? To start, scan Psychology Today to get a sense of a given therapist, learn what their areas of specialty are, and also
The most glam spirit animal ever is here to help you manifest right now
April 01, 2019 at 02:48PM by CWC It may not be pool season, but blowing up your favorite inflatable toys just might be an amazing idea right now—because “RockStar Shaman” Alyson Charles says April is all about flamingos. Here’s her full download on what the photogenic spirit animal means for you this month. March’s medicine was all about allowing our hearts to open more, tapping into an expansiveness and emotions that were previously unexplored there. We do this because our heart center is an integral part of a new paradigm (the new, higher consciousness energy system for Earth life moving forward)—and being heart-led and having our heart intelligence be the main compass for our lives is a necessary ingredient for us to be in alignment with unconditional love, our purpose, and truth. April now brings forth a few new key components: healthily speaking up for yourself, innovation, and ceasing cycles of victimhood. We’ve officially pivoted to spring in the Northern Hemisphere, and just as the flowers are popping up, so too are opportunities to speak up and have a voice. As the knowingness of who we are has strengthened, we’ll be presented with opportunities to express ourselves, and it may come in some boldly packaged ways. It’s time to get really clear on what you want to manifest, and the spirit animal for April, the flamingo, will greatly assist you. This is happening so we can work our new energetic muscles, and have this communication come from the new higher-vibrational
Annya Santana On Natural Beauty’s Role In Making Wellness Accessible
April 01, 2019 at 02:08PM She shares her thoughts on making wellness more inclusive and the next steps. Continue Reading… Author Adaeze Elechi | Life by Daily Burn Selected by iversue
The trick to targeting the right muscles to go harder/better/faster/stronger
April 01, 2019 at 02:00PM by CWC Do you ever just stop and think about what a wild and miraculous thing the human body is? Yeah, same. Thanks to our muscles, our bodies are capable of doing things like running marathons and sprinting-while-dancing on a spin bike. But, it’s worth noting, there are actually different types of muscles responsible for each of those activities, which is why you may be a whole lot better at one than the other. Your body is made up of two kinds of muscle fibers: slow twitch (type 1) muscles, and “fast twitch” (type 2) muscles. “Slow-twitch muscles are the ones in charge of long endurance challenge—so they activate first and they last for longer, so you won’t fatigue quite as quickly,” explains Pilates Instructor and health coach Helen Phelan. “There are a few types of fast-twitch muscles, but the general difference is that you use them for power. They activate in seconds, but they also burn out much quicker.” To break it down a bit more simply: “Slow twitch muscles activate first and for longer,” Phelan says. “I think of fast twitch muscles as the backup generator that clicks on when you’re at exhaustion, but they don’t have the ability to sustain that power and force, so it’s a ‘short-term solution.” Rondel King, MS, an exercise physiologist at the NYU Langone Sports Performance Center, explains that type 1 muscles tend to be more anaerobic (which helps with endurance activities, like distance running), and type
Is Diet More Important Than Exercise For Maintaining Weight Loss? New Study Weighs In
April 01, 2019 at 02:02PM You may want to think twice about choosing food over fitness. Continue Reading… Author Ray Bass | Life by Daily Burn Selected by iversue
“I cut out processed foods for a month to quit my ‘healthy’ eating habits”
April 01, 2019 at 12:45PM by CWC I wish I had been eating late-night Taco Bell and guzzling six-packs of Mountain Dew. It would have explained why waking up felt impossible, why my brain was as hazy as Dorinda Medley’s after making it nice in the Berkshires, and why the button on my jeans could have passed for a belly button ring because it was lodged so tightly into my stomach. The reality? My issue wasn’t fast food or sugary drinks—it was my overly engineered diet. I didn’t understand how “sluggish,” “brain fog,” and “bloat” were part of my vernacular. Didn’t that happen when you eat unhealthy? I ate avocados! And kale! I prioritized low-glycemic fruits. My morning greens-based smoothie had coconut milk, collagen, maca, ashwagandha, and vegan protein powder in it. I didn’t drink coffee—instead I opted for brain boosting matcha spiked with some almond milk. Dairy, sugar, and gluten were reserved for going out to eat. My diet read like a Fitfluencer’s IG feed (except without all that #ad money). The only bad eating habit I could point to was cleaning out a jar of almond butter a week. Aggressive, sure, but unhealthy? Eye roll. What I was getting wrong about “healthy” eating I thought I was doing everything right. But when I took a closer look at my diet, wondering why I was still feeling like garbage, I realized that some of my “healthy” eating behaviors were anything but. Case in point? Work stress and late nights
The Bacteria In Fish Slime May Lead To New Antibiotics For Humans
April 01, 2019 at 12:49PM Here’s what you need to know about this new discovery. Continue Reading… Author Caroline Muggia | Life by Daily Burn Selected by iversue
Meet the $3 laundry rescue to save your once-white shirts from a life sentence of pinkness
April 01, 2019 at 11:18AM by CWC Laundry day is a weekly crapshoot. If all goes well, you end up with a freshly washed leggings collection and a replenished underwear drawer. But if things don’t go so swimmingly in that sudsy, sock-stealing machine, you somehow end up with an entire millennial pink wardrobe. (And by “somehow,” I mean that rogue red bra made it’s way into the load.) Should the worst happen, however, there’s a $3 solve to SOS—save our shirts. Rit Dye Color Remover—which you can buy in bulk on Amazon for repeat laundry 911s—is designed specifically to return once-pristine tees to their former glory. According to the product description, the stain-fighter is best used on cotton, wool, ramie, linen, and rayon. It’s also a non-chlorine, meaning, it’s less stringent than bleach. Once you’ve (temporarily) ruined a load of laundry, all you need to do is throw the pastel-hued garments back into wash, set the machine to piping hot, and apply the appropriate amount of Rit. For every packet of Color Remover, mix in four cups of water. A small load requires two packets, while a larger load may need three, according to the website. Start the cycle, remove the detergent cup from the tray, and pour the mixture into the dispenser. Then, pour four more cups of hot water down the tray. When the cycle is over, run the clothes through once more. (Note: If you have a top washer, you’ll want to add the entire solution before
Once and for all: WTF does it actually mean to massage your kale?
April 01, 2019 at 09:42AM by CWC Ever since kale became the trendiest superfood on the planet, I’ve heard one technique and over again: massage it. It’s supposed to break down the toughness of the leaves to make them softer and less bitter, giving you a bowl of greens that not only tastes better but is easier to digest. But what does it mean to massage your kale, exactly? To me, massaging kale sounds like it should be a totally Zen spa experience. Like, if kale had eyes, cucumber slices would most definitely be placed on them. And instead of olive oil, it’d be getting slathered in relaxing essential oils. Unfortunately, there’s no R&R for these greens. But, good news: Working out kale’s kinks doesn’t require nearly as much effort as your own. “When making a kale salad, people always talk about ‘massaging’ the kale to tenderize it, but it’s not like giving someone a massage,” says chef Bruce Kalman, owner of BK Hospitality Group. “The method I use basically requires you to gently rub the kale leaves through both of your hands until you notice it beginning to soften up. It should take less than a minute. If you overwork it, it won’t have any sort of texture, and you really want your salad to be crisp, but not tough.” While massaging kale is undoubtedly the most common and quickest method of breaking down those chewy fibers—especially when you’re doing so around the same time you want to eat!—Kalman