February 14, 2020 at 09:00PM by CWC I’m not super into rushing during sex. It’s an experience, it should be playful and savored. And yet, learning how to orgasm faster feels like a good life skill; even if it’s a long sex session, you’d like to get yours upfront, you know? That’s why my eyebrows raised with a revelation in the Journal of Sexual Medicine: when it comes to partnered playtime, it usually takes about 14 minutes to reach climax, after a veritable fiesta of sexual activities. This got me think of one thing: who’s got the time for that? Okay, okay, okay, let’s first clarify a few things here. The study reflects women in stable, partnered, heterosexual relationships, which to me—someone whose romantic dealings are 96 percent heterosexual—checks the hell out. Like I’m not saying that straight men are objectively terrible in bed, I’m just saying that when you play a game of “Who has the most orgasms?” lesbian pairings typically have us beat, and that’s just like, research. Very proud, very happy for them, wish I knew that life. But regardless of orientation or how you identify, it’s a relatively universal problem for vulva owners to need more time—or more things—to get them there. And if you’re looking to wrap this thing up and get to sleep, we have a few ideas on how to expedite your orgasm. How to climax faster, according to sexologists 1. Target a clitoral orgasm if someone’s trying to just poke around The day
Month: February 2020
The world’s oldest man is 112—and his secret has nothing to do with diet or exercise
February 14, 2020 at 07:30PM by CWC Sometimes the quest for living a healthy life can distract from what’s most important: enjoying it. It’s a reminder that comes straight from the world’s oldest man, a spritely 112-year-old living in Niigata, Japan, named Chitetsu Watanabe. When asked about the secret to his longevity, Watanabe didn’t mention a dedicated workout routine or a specific eating plan. In fact, Watanabe has enjoyed so many candy and sweets in his lifetime that he lost his teeth. (Now he enjoys sweet custard instead.) “[It’s] to not to get angry and keep a smile on your face,” he says. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCGWuH51Irk] The link between health and happiness is well-established. In fact, four of the nine longevity pillars (qualities people who live in Blue Zones, where inhabitants regularly live to reach 100) have nothing to do with diet or exercise. Longevity is granted to those who find purpose in life, manage stress, engage with a community, and remain close to family. “Purpose is related to happiness, and happiness is associated with better health than sadness or indifference,” says Richard Honaker, MD, chief medical advisor at Your Doctors Online. When looking at Watanabe’s life, it has long been full of purpose. According to the Guinness World Records, he comes from a family of 10, the eldest of eight children. Besides being close with his family, Watanabe also worked long and hard until he was 104. In his younger days, he served in the military. After the Pacific War,
‘Situational cleansing’ is the best thing to happen to skin since soap itself
February 14, 2020 at 07:00PM by CWC Adapting your beauty routine to your skin’s mood is nothing new. After all, you wouldn’t use a clay mask on a dry complexion, or—the horror!—squalane on an oily forehead. Now, would you? The need to switch up your skin care the way you’d switch up your wardrobe is fueling many areas of the beauty industry, including cleansing. And the new-to-market brand Holi Frog coined the term “situational cleansing” to help describe exactly why. “Routines may rule our daily lives, but we should listen to our skin and what we’re doing to it at the time of every wash,” says Emily Parr. “Skin is just like anything else: it has different needs at different times.” Parr’s splashy line of functional cleansers has popularized the practice of giving your skin a diagnostic before more mindfully reaching for a product. Mamina Turegano, MD, a dermatologist with Apostrophe, agrees that different circumstances do call for different cleaners, and says these reasons can be wide-ranging: “different seasons, workouts, travel, different geographic locations, being on certain medicines, going through a stressful period, or having certain skin conditions—like acne, rosacea, or eczema [all call for different cleansers],” she explains. View this post on Instagram Triple threat. From left to right: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Shasta to gently resurface & rid skin of congestion, texture + dullness Tashmoo to pamper and replenish moisture-sapped skin Superior to rebalance and hit the 'reset' button ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Clean up your act. A post shared by HoliFrog (holy-frog) (@holifrog) on Nov
The most romantic day of the year is *not* February 14—here’s when to mark your calendar
February 14, 2020 at 06:30PM by CWC If your Valentine’s Day is likely to end like mine—on the couch in stretchy pants, watching Netflix while eating Thai takeout—you may be relieved to know that, astrologically speaking, February 14 is not the most romantic day of the year. Indeed intuitive astrologer and healer Rachel Lang suggests marking four other days this year with heart-eye emojis. Two are next month, which means you just have to hold on to your spring rolls for another couple of weeks before you can replace them with an object of affection that is human. Below, Lang explains how each of the four Valentine’s Day alternatives not invented by capitalism will be supercharged for the type of romance you can’t buy from the Trader Joe’s floral section at the last-minute. The most romantic days of the year, according to the universe 1. March 8, 2020 Because Venus stands next to Uranus, the planet of change, March 8 could bring sudden changes in relationships. “This is the day to express your feelings to your crush or ask someone out on a whim,” she suggests. The Sun and “dreamy” Neptune are in conjunction on this day as well. “Things may not be clear, or you may not have a sense of the future, but indulge in the experience of being in love,” Lang says. If you find yourself single on March 8, it’s a good time to find closure around a past relationship. “For all of us, it’s a
The 7 golden rules of long-term relationship success, from couples of nearly 4 decades
February 14, 2020 at 06:00PM by CWC It’s inevitable that as our lives evolve and change over time, the relationships that remain constant fixtures within them will as well. If you’re fortunate enough to find a life partner with whom you grow and learn, you’re bound to encounter speed bumps, road blocks, and detours throughout your years, perhaps even decades together. So, knowing how to maintain a relationship through rough times is key. These changes may involve shifting away from late nights out with friends being the norm in favor of late nights awake caring for a baby; then from a noisy and full house to a Zen yet quiet empty nest. They might involve navigating financial woes at some points rather than planning luxe getaways. They might be health-related, career-related, or grief-related, or all of the above. Life will absolutely present challenges, and you can’t know for sure how those challenges will look or necessarily be able to exert much if any control over their outcomes. But, what you can work toward is knowing how to maintain a relationship that can endure the changes. Below, seven couples that have been together for as many as 50 years share their golden rules for staying the course. 1. Take the time to focus on each other Bracha and Aryeh Goetz have been married for 40 years and have raised six children together, all of whom are now happily married with children of their own. When their kids moved out, and they
I’m a sex writer, and this intimacy app answered sex questions I never knew to ask
February 14, 2020 at 04:00PM by CWC Eventually there comes a time when nobody wants to hear about your sex life anymore. I mean, I’m sure that’s not true for everybody (my experience in that realm is probably different than, say, J. Lo’s). But for many of us—especially those of us who once relied on our sexual misadventures to entertain friends at brunch—there’s a moment in time when the vibe changes. For me, that moment transpired when I met my husband. My friends loved hearing about my sex life when it involved random men they’d never meet. But when my stories started centering around someone stable, secure, healthy, and with long-term potential, no one wanted to hear the dirty details anymore. While for the past decade, my husband and I have remained satisfied and happy with our nothing-new-to-see-here sexcapades, I am aware that we rarely task ourselves with seeking out new, unique sexual experiences. That’s where apps might come in. Early sex-focused apps focused wholly with the practical—like Clue, the period tracking app, and Spreadsheets, which literally counts the number of thrusts during your last sexual encounter—but more recently launched programs focus on a more holistic sexual experience. There’s the audio erotica app Dipsea; and sex-coaching app Juicebox; and Rosy, an app for women who have low desire; and Coral, an intimacy app that highlights education. All of these examples encourage users to get more in touch with themselves, learn more about their own sexuality, and feel in the driver’s
Thousands of Americans are stuck in toxic jobs and marriages just to keep their health insurance
February 14, 2020 at 02:30PM by CWC Of all the factors to consider before making a life-altering decision—like starting a business or ending a marriage—your future ability to get affordable medical care shouldn’t be one of them. But that’s exactly the case for many Americans today. As Medicare for All advocate Sen. Bernie Sanders recently pointed out, it’s not uncommon for people to stick it out in jobs and relationships that don’t serve them because they can’t afford to lose the health insurance benefits they receive through their employer or partner. Psychotherapist Haley Neidich, LCSW, is among the 60 percent of Americans who rely on employer-sponsored insurance—either their own or their partner’s—for coverage. For years, she juggled a part-time, private therapy practice and a full-time tech industry job with benefits. But when she suffered a miscarriage in 2019, she realized that the stress of her corporate gig was having a detrimental impact on her wellbeing. “After a short but complicated pregnancy, I began to realize how much I needed to prioritize my mental health and my family. But I was afraid to lose my health insurance, especially given how complicated my pregnancy had become and the fact that we want to grow our family,” says Neidich. She didn’t think she had the option to enroll as a dependent on her partner’s insurance, as they aren’t married. So she was left to make a tough decision: Keep her corporate health insurance while pushing herself towards burnout, or cut back on her
This high-protein, dietitian-approved dinner is full of gut-healthy benefits
February 14, 2020 at 02:00PM by CWC After-dinner hunger may sound like an oxymoron, but it’s definitely a Thing. Sometimes, no matter how delicious a meal tastes, it just isn’t all that filling. The major reason it happens: not enough protein. Healthy eating experts preach about the importance of a lot of different nutrients, but protein is definitely one of the biggies. Besides giving the body enough energy to literally keep it going, it also keeps you full. If your meal lacks protein, you can definitely count on being hungry later. “[I recommend] 50 grams of protein a day if you’re not very active, 75 grams if you’re moderately active, and 100 or more to put on muscle, nutritionist Lauren Slayton previously told Well+Good. It doesn’t require a steak dinner to get there, either. In fact, Kara Lydon, RD, aka The Foodie Dietitian’s go-to high-protein dinner is actually plant-based. Behold, her vegan chickpea burger recipe. “These burgers boast a variety of plant-based protein sources including legumes, grains, and seeds, making it a protein-packed veggie burger,” — Kara Lydon, RD One high-protein meal she loves is buffalo chickpea veggie burgers with vegan blue cheese dressing. “These burgers boast a variety of plant-based protein sources including legumes, grains, and seeds, making it a protein-packed veggie burger,” Lydon says. The ingredients list includes quinoa along with chickpeas, which means you’re getting a one-two punch of protein in these vegan chickpea burgers. “Although considered a grain, quinoa packs in eight grams of protein per
A nutritionist explains why diets don’t really work
February 14, 2020 at 01:30PM by CWC The word “diet” feels like a relic of the past, but some modern eating plans can be just as restrictive as the cabbage soup diets of yesteryear. As McKel Kooienga points out, these trendy, quick-fix plans don’t help people develop healthy habits with food. Here, the Well+Good Council member makes the compelling case for leaving diets in the dust—and developing a different, more positive relationship with what you eat. Have you tried a diet before? When we have new clients in our Wellness Coaching practice, our clients on average try three diets, plans, or trends prior to coming to see us for sustainable solutions. And they’re not alone! This is becoming increasingly more common with so much information online, new trends, and new quick-fix plans coming out weekly. But here’s the thing: the very idea of dieting is incompatible with developing healthy habits around food. Diets don’t work for most people—and here’s why. 1. Dieting encourages short-term thinking Dieting isn’t sustainable, or else it would “work” for everyone for life, and we wouldn’t see so many diets and trends pop up. We all have unique lifestyles and bodies to honor, and most diets don’t consider pillars of our health beyond size and weight. That also goes for diets and plans that have a start and end date: 21-day this, 30-day that, 5-day other. What are you supposed to do after that time period? Most people who find themselves in this start-and-stop cycle end
3 dating tips that’ll turn your anxious attachment style into a romantic superpower
February 14, 2020 at 01:00PM by CWC The day after I started reading Attached—a deep-dive analysis into how people with different attachment styles approach relationships—my Co-Star app served me an on-the-nose horoscope that I’d start reading a book that would ultimately change my life. And while Co-Star’s predictions for me aren’t always true, this one certainly hit home. That’s because as soon as I finished the first few pages, I felt inspired to learn more about how my anxious attachment style might strengthen rather than compromise my dating life. Attachment styles come from adult attachment theory, which breaks down how we relate to others into three types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. (Avoidant includes two subcategories: fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant.) I fall into the anxious category, which basically means I benefit from regular reassurance that my various relationships are in a healthy state. Unfortunately for my romantic pursuits, though, anxious people tend to gravitate toward avoidant attachers, who often to have trouble establishing intimacy. So, the resulting situation often has an oil-and-water effect of not blending into any state of cohesion. Because of this impasse, some schools of thought would suggest I work to change my attachment style to be more secure in the interest of leveling up my romantic prospects. But, that’s not the route that I most want to take because the sheer awareness that I’m anxiously attached has helped me to improve my relationships with other people and with myself. Because of this, I contend that—without needing