January 21, 2019 at 02:12PM by CWC Sweaty palms, red face, a quickening pulse, the inability to focus on anything else—ah, the telltale signs of anger. But why do we get mad—be it mildly irritated or overcome with all-encompassing rage—in the first place? According to New York-based holistic psychotherapist Alison Stone, LCSW, anger acts as an emotional alarm for our brains and bodies. “It sends an SOS trigger to the brain about how we’re feeling, or how we’re reacting to an outside event,” she explains. “Any excessive negative feeling—fear, distress, shame, rejection—will likely trigger anger.” But while anger can be incredibly negative when it starts to consume us, Stone notes that anger isn’t always a bad thing—especially because anger is information. “Anger is our system’s way of alerting us that we’re feeling something that we likely don’t want to be feeling,” she says. “For example, hurt, betrayed, ignored, taken advantage of—anything that evokes vulnerability.” Anger can also become destructive when we try to bury it instead of examining why it’s happening in the first place. (It can impact your physical health as well as your mental well-being: Studies have shown that angry outbursts are correlated with an increased risk of heart attack). “We are often socialized to believe it’s unacceptable and inappropriate to express anger, so we learn to push it aside rather then reflect on what this emotion is trying to tell us,” explains Stone. “If we are able to extend curiosity to our anger, we have a
Category: 2019 Health
15 statement sneakers that’ll level up any outfit
January 21, 2019 at 12:34PM by CWC From futuristic shapes to overbuilt soles, bold sneakers are at the crux of nearly every wardrobe these days. They serve as a fresh finishing point to a multitude of outfits (and not just those rooted in Spandex). Even the most feminine-leaning tastes are subbing heels, flats, and mules for sporty styles, further solidifying the footwear category as number one. Right now, a new wave of statement sneakers is staking its claim with fluorescent laces, bright, rainbow color blocking, and holographic accents—see the runways of Escada, Off-White, Versace, Christopher Kane, and MSGM for proof. More than an evolution of chunky dad sneakers, these electric styles are a part of another spring drift: neon colors, without diving headfirst into DayGlo shades top to toe. To stylist Courtney Madison (who’s worked with major celebs like Beyoncé, Rihanna, Mindy Kaling, and Katy Perry), these new statement sneakers are a must-try for 2019. “The Escada high tops are that perfect pop of color without the heaviness of some recent sneaker trends,” she says. When styling these types of kicks, Madison is for playing up the boldness. “I think the best way to wear this look is with something a bit oversized and dramatic,” the stylist says, recommending bold and bright sneakers with an oversized sweater or blouse worn as a dress on top or with refined pieces like a blazer dress. “There’s no reason why you can’t wear sneakers to work if the rest of your look is pulled
Going through my breakup made me smell bad—and it was the pits
January 21, 2019 at 09:30AM by CWC Worse than overripe, unsalvageable avocados and sleeping through that early-morning Soulcycle class you’re paying for no matter what, breakups have got to be near the top of the list of Things That Suck. In addition to the emotional quantum physics required to figure out all the “whys” (like, “why did he sleep with my my bestie?” or “why did I stay with someone so negative for so long?), there’s the real physical pain of heartbreak to contend with as well. So when I split with my ex, I braced myself for the worst—or at least what I thought was the worst: My new…uh…scent was one lonely-hearts-club side effect I simply didn’t see (or rather smell) coming. I had an intense case of breakup BO—as in, hot-garbage-can, roasted-carrots-rotting-under-the-stove, just-stopped-showering odor. As it turns out, breakup stank is a totally real thing, courtesy of breakup sweat, which is—yep—another totally real thing. “When you’re going through a breakup, it’s natural for a stress reaction to be triggered in the body, which can cause all sorts of physical manifestations, like stress sweating,” says One Medical Provider, Natasha Bhuyan, MD, who confirms breakup sweat is activated by the same process as stress sweat—just with a different cause. (Cue: side-eye @ my ex.) Breakup sweat is activated by the same process as stress sweat—just with a different cause (cue: side-eye @ my ex). And it makes sense, right? Breakups are stressful. But why the smell? Stress and breakup sweat are, quite simply, entirely
8 Mediterranean diet benefits that explain why experts love it so much
January 21, 2019 at 08:20AM by CWC The ketogenic diet may have been the buzziest eating plan in 2018, but is it the healthiest overall? According to U.S. News and World Report, the tried-and-true Mediterranean diet rises to take the top honor. A panel of health experts examined and ranked 41 popular eating plans, concluding that the Mediterranean diet is the most universally beneficial for long-term health. Further down the list, U.S. News named the DASH diet as the second healthiest, with WW (formerly known as Weight Watchers) as fourth, vegetarian as 11th, vegan as 20th, Paleo as 33rd, and Whole30 and keto tied for 38th. What makes the Mediterranean diet so beloved by MDs and nutrition experts? Registered dietitian Lauren Slayton, RD, points to the fact that it emphasizes the consumption of foods high in omega-3s and healthy fats, like fish, olive oil, nuts, grains, legumes, fruits, and veggies. “[Olive oil] has tremendous cardiovascular benefits,” she says. Meanwhile, you’re eating a lot less red meat—although it’s still permitted on occasion. It’s generally pretty easy for people to follow, Slayton says (and allows for small amounts of red wine). The eating plan also takes into account more than just food, adds Marisa Moore, RDN. “If you look at the Mediterranean diet pyramid, what’s at the base is actually physical activity and social relationships,” she says. So movement and friendship definitely play a part, too. To quote Gilmore Girls, it’s a lifestyle. What’s not to like here? Wondering what exactly it looks like to
4 tips to optimize your bedroom feng shui—and find love in the process
January 21, 2019 at 05:30AM by CWC As someone who sages every new apartment she moves into and considers an amplifying and clarifying clear quartz crystal the best housewarming gift ever, I’ve always been interested in the the way that energy can impact life. It’s why I’m drawn to the premise of feng shui, which points to the idea that by changing the energy of a space, I could change my own energy—and perhaps even the rest of my life. Enter: energetic expert Heather Askinoise’s idea of love feng shui—or, more fittingly, feng shui love killers. The Energy Muse co-founder and Crystal Muse author has a pretty clear outline of ways many of us unwittingly forfeit love energy, and a whole bunch of them are centered on the setup of the bedroom. Everything from where you place your bed to what you hang on your walls is up for feng shui debate, Askinosie contends. So early last year, I started implementing some of her tips for how to cultivate solid love feng shui. Spoiler: I haven’t hooked the love of my life quite yet, but I do feel like my bedroom is a more harmonious space. And while I’m not in a relationship, I have become a more discerning about the men who get to see my Zen bedroom sanctuary—and that feels like energetic progress to me. Ahead, find a handful of Askinosie’s feng shui love killers and how to fix them. The solutions may not instantly deliver It’s Raining Men or Sexual Healing
Everything you need to know about the body-inclusivity debate rocking France right now
January 20, 2019 at 02:45PM by CWC Here’s a tip for everyone fortunate to have this as a choice: When you turn 30, do it in Paris. When I hit that milestone, I was surrounded by women who had figured out the ageless aesthetic. As in, not trying to look young—but each beaming with her own individual brand of sexy sunshine. And most had a (much) younger man in tow. My friends and I, who’d all been fixated on the big 3-0 for months, were smitten. And freed from the arbitrary tick-tock that the world constantly reminds you of. It seemed that, at least in France, ageism had taken a holiday that summer. So when I read Pamela Druckerman’s column in The New York Times today, “The Revenge of the Middle-Aged Frenchwomen,” it was like a pillar of the body-inclusivity house had been smashed. Because the ageless are agitated in France. What happened? In an interview in the French edition of Marie Claire, a prominent writer and intellectual sounded off about his lack of attraction to women his age (50)—and that fact that he prefers Asian women in their 20s. You do not eff with France’s legendarily ageless sex goddesses. Even in live-and-let-live, boys-will-be-boys France—where Catherine Deneuve famously thought the #MeToo revelations were pretty meh (though she later apologized to women who shared their stories of victimization)—this could not stand. Why? You do not eff with the nation’s legendarily ageless sex goddesses. Druckerman argues that the writer, Yann Moix, didn’t commit a
Oh, so this is how you get turmeric stains out of your clothes
January 20, 2019 at 10:54AM by CWC Out of all the wellness phenomena that deserve a “womp womp”—getting dizzy during yoga class, retinol-induced skin redness, avocados that go brown when you turn your back for ONE second—turmeric stains have to be one of the most distressing. Perhaps you accidentally splattered some of your turmeric face mask onto your white shower curtain (been there)—or maybe your Lyft hit a pothole and you sloshed your golden latte all over your new fleece bomber. As you may have learned the hard way, the orange-yellow marks left behind by this vibrantly-hued root can be permanent if you don’t act fast. (Blame curcumin, the active compound in turmeric that makes it so anti-inflammatory.) But luckily, they are potentially reversible—unlike an overripe avo. For guidance on what to do when turmeric stains strike, I turned to a few people who deal with this issue on the reg: healthy chefs. And as it turns out, the fix involves ingredients that you’ve probably already got in your kitchen. “My favorite way to remove turmeric stains is white vinegar, dish liquid, and water,” says Ayurvedic chef and lifestyle expert Sahara Rose, author of Eat Feel Fresh: A Contemporary, Plant-Based Ayurvedic Cookbook. “Just dilute 1/2 cup of white vinegar with 1 cup of water and 2 tablespoons of dish liquid. Dip the fabric in the mixture and let it sit for 20 minutes. Rub the stain to dislodge it, and then wash it in the laundry.” For the final step, she recommends letting your
Let’s take a collective mental-health deep breath, shall we? MAGA hat-wearing kids edition
January 20, 2019 at 10:02AM by CWC It’s Sunday. You’ve all seen the viral video. Let’s all take a deep cleansing breath. Because this is a lot. A friend earlier this week called the photo of White House staff lighting long fancy candles on a table full of fast-food boxes as President Trump looked on proudly “the history book cover.” But I’d argue that the video of a bunch of boys wearing red Make America Great Hats—with one smirkingly staring down Vietnam vet and Omaha Nation member Nathan Phillips (as he sang and drummed) during Friday’s “March for Life” in Washington, DC—will be one of those etched in our memory of the Trump era. And even if you think that the kids are getting an unfair shake—a la reality show stars who complain about the way they were edited—the fact remains that what happened in the video happened, no matter what preceded or followed it. So, we need to deal with it. Like I said, deep breaths. What if we gave the wisest voices a moment to have their say? As this plays out in the echo chambers of TV news and Twitter, those screaming the loudest (or typing the fastest) will get the most coverage and retweets. But hot takes go cold quickly. And you’re left with: not much. What if we gave the wisest voices a moment to have their say? Like the famous Mr. Rogers quote about scary situations (“look for the helpers“), at times like this
Why OKCupid is my new “Humans of New York”
January 20, 2019 at 06:03AM by CWC OKCupid gets no respect. Or at least, not that much. Back when it launched as a website in 2004, the fact that it was free (as opposed “serious relationship” sites like Match and eHarmony) gave it a Craigslist-light identity. While its raunch factor was nowhere near what you’d find on “Casual Encounters,” OKCupid’s audience definitely skewed younger—and finding a hookup or someone who shared your particular kink was part of the mix. Today, as a digital dating survivor that’s still in the cultural conversation (Match.com, where you at?) along with Bumble and Tinder, OKCupid is nevertheless still struggling to be the prettiest girl at the dance, so to speak. But it shouldn’t. As far as I’m concerned, OKCupid is the new Humans of New York. Remember that time, back in the day, when you first saw Humans of New York? Brandon Stanton’s portraiture of every day people, and the off-the-cuff comments he miraculously pulled out of them, suddenly made all the slumped shoulders and blank faces on the subway look like untapped potential: untold, poetic secrets to be revealed to the person who gave them a spotlight. With OKCupid, instead of shining a light on the humanity hidden beneath urban armor, the platform seems to be giving men a venue for expressing their hopes and dreams. I know, that’s a lot to say about an app where a grown man wearing a “Thank You for Being a Slut” trucker hat told me I had
I’m basically the Marie Kondo of email now
January 20, 2019 at 04:00AM by CWC Unsubscribing will set me free. Or at least, this is what I’m telling myself during my big declutter of 2019, digital edition. Thanks to Tidying Up With Marie Kondo on Netflix, decluttering is having (another) big moment, and we’re all trying to use the KonMari method to minimize our mess. I’m starting with promo emails. I know, starting there sounds small. But since my promo emails tell my entire life story so far— documenting every event I’ve attended, every school I’ve gone to, every passing enthusiasm I thought I’d want to stay up on—tossing one can be as hard as a letter from an ex-best friend. At least the problem is common, if not the category of clutter. “People hold onto their possessions for many reasons, but one important reason is that these possessions have meaning,” says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD and professor emerita of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. “The way to let go of clutter is to examine the meaning each item has and ask yourself what will happen if you dispose of it. The chances are that you’ll recognize you will be fine after you do so.” Ok, so if I can examine the meanings and origins of each mailing list, it’ll be easier to decide what goes and what stays. The problem is, I can’t really “tidy by category, not by location” nor can I take my emails to Beacon’s Closet where it will inevitably be