February 22, 2019 at 09:12AM by CWC Recently I learned that an old friend—a lingerie-loving sprite with a harlequin grin—took her life. We were estranged for years, but a mutual friend had recently spent time with her and sobbed to me on the phone about how “she seemed so happy.” There’s a lot more to the story, but when I think about that sad phone chat, smiling depression comes to mind because how she seemed is clearly not indicative of how she actually felt. As the public conversation about mental health expands, so is how living with a mental disorder looks. (Depression, for example, isn’t limited to an image of crying in bed for days on end). For many, it looks like nothing because so many people have learned to expertly mask their symptoms. This basically sums up smiling depression, which is characterized by maintaining the facade of happiness while battling depression. Sufferers often appear outwardly joyous and successful in all the typical parts of life “success” conjures—like having an S.O, a great job, and being wildly accomplished. It isn’t formally recognized as a psychiatric term, but comparisons have been drawn between it and atypical depression, a common form of the condition where mood reactivity is the key element (the mood can improve temporarily with positive events). Alas, atypical depression has its own diagnosis criteria separate from smiling depression, so to conceptually understand the latter—an idea that’s oh-so prominent right now—I called upon an expert to break it down. Psychologist Selena Snow, PhD says it’s common to
Category: City
Ever tell a harmless white lie just to keep a conversation going? Here’s why
February 22, 2019 at 06:58AM by CWC “You’ve watched Paris, Texas, right?” “Did you see the latest Cardi B rant?” “Can you even believe what’s going on in Washington today?” Flash back to the last conversation you had with an acquaintance who referenced something about which you really have no idea and certainly can’t offer intelligent opinions regarding. There’s a good chance you still cosigned the thought, though—because fake it till you make it, right? This is the agreeable fib, AKA a knee-jerk harmless little white lie that’s probably the most innocuous, unnecessary, and weirdly embarrassing strain of deception. So why do we do it? Why risk getting into a deep, 10-minute conversation hole where the only way out is to admit you don’t even know who Cardi B is? Despite the negative connotation of deceit, the reason is surprisingly wholesome: feeling insecure and just wanting just to fit in. “Given that we’re gregarious creatures who crave to be liked and included, we often provide a ‘white-lie’ response as a primitive response designed to increase a sense of safety,” says clinical psychologist and author of Joy From Fear Carla Marie Manly, PhD. “Although a white-lie response isn’t generally ideal, such instinctive replies often stem from an often-unconscious desire for inclusion.” “Although a white-lie response isn’t generally ideal, such instinctive replies often stem from an often-unconscious desire for inclusion.” —clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD Yeah, this checks out, especially when you consider that the agreeable fib is generally called upon when we’re
Waking up at 3 a.m.? Your energy meridians might be triggering that alarm
February 21, 2019 at 02:15PM by CWC Real talk: My body clock has not been working with me and my Eastern Standard Time way of life lately. I’ve been sending out middle-of-the-night texts like I’m in college again, just searching for a soul to communicate with and help me pass the time. Not even my trustiest sleep hacks (4-7-8 technique and ASMR vids, looking at you) are, well, trustworthy for getting me through a night. So, I’ve made a mission find out, once and for all, why I’m waking up at 3 a.m. every night (and no, it’s not to pee). The most intriguing possibility? My energy meridians may be super effed up. First a quick refresher on energy meridians: According to traditional Chinese medicine, your chi (or qi) is your energy current that flows through your body via energetic pathways. Those pathways are referred to as meridians, and TCM recognizes 20 of them. Energy meridians come into play here because sleep issues can indicate an imbalance of your chi. Your body’s internal clock syncs with different hours of the day, and a different organ (12 of the energy meridians are associated with a specific organ) works its hardest during the different shifts. So it’s best if you work with your organs so they can perform energetically efficiently when they’re meant to. Tl;dr: Time intervals relate to organs; catering to organs helps energy meridians; balanced energy meridians theoretically mean we all sleep better. So in an effort to prioritize turning off my
How to tell your S.O. you have debt—and navigate other tricky money chats
February 21, 2019 at 03:00AM by CWC Whether you’ve been dating someone for just a hot minute or are in a committed relationship, talking about money with a romantic partner can feel like navigating a conversational minefield, à la asking about religion, marriage, kids, or even politics. Still, chances are at least one of you wonders about the financial situation of the other—even if it doesn’t feel quite right to broach the subject. Think: “I wonder if I make more than her.” “He better be saving for a ring.” “I bet their parents are loaded.” “They sound loaded.” At least one of these has likely crossed someone’s mind. But while most couples who have been together for a certain amount of time and are relatively serious about building a future together do eventually broach the topics of religion, marriage, and kids, Shannon McLay—founder and CEO of finance-coaching service Financial Gym—says she regularly sees clients who haven’t talked about money with their partner at all—even if they’ve been together for years. “We talk about getting financially naked with someone,” she says. “Just like determining if you have chemistry in the bedroom, it’s important to find out if you have chemistry with someone financially,” she says. “Just like determining if you have chemistry in the bedroom, it’s important to find out if you have chemistry with someone financially.” —Shannon McLay, founder and CEO of Financial Gym Easier said than done though. How do you tactfully find out if your S.O.’s money goals are aligned with
“Back on my bullsh*t” is the new mantra of modern wellness
February 19, 2019 at 11:00AM by CWC In the past few months, I’ve seen the same pithy caption hit my Fit-stagram feed over and over again. Whether stamped beneath a picture of a colorful kale salad or accompanied by an intense video of battle ropes class, the phrase “back on my bullshit” seems like the (and I mean, the) wellness call to action of our time. It’s the much-needed reminder that when the cult of busy, busy, busy pulls us away from our wellness habits, returning to them should be a light-hearted coming home, not a shame spiral. To investigate the origins of this statement’s social capital across media platforms, I performed a deep Google search pertaining to its lineage. The earliest record I could dredge up dates back to the album Back to My B.S. by rapper Busta Rhymes. Then, in December 2016, American rapper and songwriter Papoose released an album with a similar title, Back On My Bullshit, featuring an eponymous track. Among the lyrics: “This time I ain’t playing fair, I’mma take what’s mine…I’m back on my bullshit, I’m back on my bullshit. I said I’m back on my bullshit, I’m back on my bullshit, hey.” Flash-forward to 2019 and the “I’mma take what’s mine” connotation is still very much attached to the meaning. (The always illuminating) Urban Dictionary defines it in a few different ways, notably: 1. “[T]o be back on one’s bullshit is to return to a state at which you were your truest and most vocal self with a renewed focus on authenticity and a
How to make a low-carb burrito so delish you won’t even miss the tortilla
February 19, 2019 at 07:30AM by CWC Burrito bowls are yummy, but there’s nothing like the real thing—or something close to it. For those who live a low-carb lifestyle, you know you can always order extra guacamole for another serving of healthy fat. Unfortunately, a burrito wrapped with a warm tortilla doesn’t exactly make the cut. But before you give up Mexican food for good, check out this healthy twist on the traditional. Making a low-carb burrito is as simple as swapping out the tortilla for a robust leafy green. Dana Schutz, the recipe whiz behind the plant-based food blog Minimalist Baker, recently shared a recipe for collard green burritos, and they’re anything but ordinary. Collards are sturdy enough to be rolled up just like a flour tortilla. Schutz’s low-card burrito is filled with walnut “meat,” a vegan cheese spread, avocado, sprouts, and other satisfying ingredients. You won’t even miss the real thing. “These raw vegan burritos make for a perfect weekday lunch. They require just 30 minutes, 8 ingredients, and are packed with flavor,” she writes on Instagram. View this post on Instagram A post shared by MINIMALIST BAKER (@minimalistbaker) on Feb 18, 2019 at 10:31am PST //www.instagram.com/embed.js Swapping the tortilla for a leaf of collard greens means each burrito contains just 29 grams of carbohydrates. For comparison, Chipotle’s burrito contains upward of 130 grams. There’s room to get creative with this recipe, too. If you don’t care for collard greens, Schutz recommends stuffing butter or romaine lettuce
Help! Urban Outfitters’ home department is a black hole for my clutterbitch personality
February 18, 2019 at 10:00AM by CWC When I recently discovered the term “clutterbitch,” I felt the immediate flooding of relief that comes with finding a word that’s been on the tip of your tongue for, I don’t know, forever. Clutterbitch (an adjective, not a noun) manages to mean exactly what it sounds like—it’s an aesthetic consisting of an oversaturated, frenzied mess that somehow still comes together to create an inviting (cozy, even) space. Think, the overlapping part of a Venn diagram that has circles for a crowded antique store, the bedrooms from The Virgin Suicides, and the decor at the famed Madonna Inn. It’s the opposite of the less-is-more, Marie Kondo-esque vibe that’s quite literally sweeping the nation—and it’s so, so me. Sound like you, too? In that case, listen up: Right now, Urban Outfitters is a trap for our kind. I headed to the website after reading about a magical alarm clock that brews coffee while you snooze (obviously the dream because it means you can sleep in and still have coffee ready for you when you wake up—plus, it looks like the type of thing a mad scientist would own…but I digress). Alas, the caffeine clock was no longer available, but in it’s place I found a veritable rabbit hole of covetable clutterbitch tchotchkes. There’s a tiny cow-print fridge made specifically to house your skin care products, a light that looks like the moon, a Jane Birkin-worthy landline phone and a bunch of other delightful wonders that will hopefully help me in my
Yoga pants made Lululemon founder Chip Wilson a billionaire—why isn’t he more grateful to the women who wear them?
February 17, 2019 at 07:00AM by CWC Chip Wilson; Photo: Andrea Mestrovic (Very Polite Agency) Chip Wilson is his own employee of the month. Right there on his website, you can see a portrait of his smiling face, set within a cheap wooden frame and festooned with a gold star bearing the accolade. But in his colorful new memoir, Little Black Stretchy Pants: The Unauthorized Story of Lululemon (LBSP), the controversial Lululemon Athletica founder makes clear that, beyond ostensibly putting himself above his actual employees, he also feels superior to many of the women who wear the brand’s hundred-dollar yoga pants that have made him a multibillionaire. LBSP is dripping with contempt for the “non-athletic, smoking, Diet-Coke drinking woman in a New Jersey shopping mall wearing an unflattering pink velour track suit” who may now reach for a pair of Lulus. As he tells it, the irreverent Wilson is the star of Lululemon’s success story. And by extension, he also sees himself as the victim of what he understands to be the athleisure company’s fall from greatness to mass-market mediocrity since he resigned as chairman in 2013. If newer employees continue to find the culture refreshing, Wilson explains, it’s only because “Lululemon is living on the fumes” of its former glory. In this way, Wilson’s 400-plus-page volume often reads like a screed. It’s worth your time, however, because for all Wilson’s outrage at what the innovative company he created has become (and there’s a lot of outrage), he is still Lululemon’s largest individual shareholder,
5 ways to harness the energy of rose quartz, the crystal with a love-magnet rep
February 16, 2019 at 06:00AM by CWC Rose quartz is the coconut oil of the crystal world—pretty much every wellness-obsessed gal has it somewhere in her home. No, it’s not just because she needs something millennial pink to compliment her monstera plant and macramé wall hanging. Ask any gemstone expert, and they’ll tell you that rose quartz healing properties are super powerful, particularly where love’s concerned. (And let’s be real: Coupled up or solo, who couldn’t use a little help in that department?) “Rose quartz, or the stone of emotional healing, is associated with all the properties of high-vibrational love energy,” says Well+Good Council member Kelsey Patel, reiki healer and founder of lifestyle brand Magik Vibes. She notes that the stone’s molecules are said to vibrate at an energetic frequency of 350Hz, and that when you make contact with this frequency, it’s thought to “elevate and harmonize” your heart chakra. “The high vibration of rose quartz can soothe emotional wounds and brings about a balanced energetic state of acceptance, healing, bliss, and love,” she says. Of course, you’re unlikely to find any Western mental health practitioners prescribing chunks of rose quartz for emotional turmoil. But even if you’re skeptical of the stone’s supposed energy healing properties, you might find that its ancient symbolism alone helps to put you in a more heartened headspace. “Traditionally, this stone has been used in jewelry and in talismans with a more symbolic meaning,” Patel explains. “In one Greek legend, Cupid and Eros brought rose quartz to
I don’t care what fashion week says, wearing a low ponytail makes me look like Gaston
February 15, 2019 at 01:56PM by CWC We’re in the midst of the fashion week sprints (just as the catwalk lights in New York dim, they flash on in London)—a time I usually love because of all the fresh wardrobe, makeup, and hair inspo I’m able to absorb. I usually welcome all the haute trends, from bedazzled faces to cozy fleece dresses, with open arms. But this year, I feel personally attacked by one specific look—the low ponytail. It started innocuously enough with Ariana Grande trading in her signature high pony for an elastic secured at the nape of her neck. This, however, wasn’t an isolated incident—the hairstyle then spread like disease across red carpets, street style photos, and runways without discrimination. J. Lo and Camilla Cabello both sported the look at the Grammys, and what felt like a million designers (Ralph Lauren, Cushnie, Christian Siriano, Oscar de la Renta, the list goes on…) sent models down the runway this season with low-riding ponies. Being the trend fiend that I am, I’ve spent the better part of the last two weeks trying to wrestle my hair into this look—and let me tell you, it is not going well. Every single time I move my ponytail to the lower quadrant of my scalp, I look like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast—the animated version. View this post on Instagram Whose gonna let me do this on them next??! #justinemarjanhair for @csiriano A post shared by Celebrity Hairstylist (@justinemarjan) on Feb 11, 2019 at 10:56am PST //www.instagram.com/embed.js Just