December 17, 2018 at 09:21AM Figuring out how to say no when that one friend asks to borrow money for the umpteenth time is stressful. But figuring out how to say no during the holidays, when you’re also very much strapped for cash after buying everyone gifts, ratchets the tough feelings up a notch. After all, your heartstrings are fully engaged and pulled tight. How exactly is a caring friend supposed to act when somebody—especially a potentially desperate somebody—asks for a loan? Is there a way to turn them down without putting a strain on your relationship? And is lending money to a friend ever advisable? According to Maggie Baker, PhD, financial therapy specialist and author of Crazy About Money: How Emotions Confuse Our Money Choices and What to Do About It, the holidays can be a particularly fraught time for friends and finances. You’re either feeling generous—or guilty that you don’t feel generous. Because of that, you’re probably more likely to say yes to these asks, even if your own financial situation is a little precarious. But, beware of letting those warm and fuzzy holiday feelings get the best of you. “It’s the season of giving, when people are more relaxed and open—but that doesn’t mean they should be exploited,” Dr. Baker says. If you have even a flicker of doubt about lending money to someone, don’t ignore your instincts. Rather, Dr. Baker says it pays to be a little bit selfish. Because while the denied loan may sting your
Category: Relaxation
The at-work facial massage that whisks away any sign of jaw tension
December 17, 2018 at 03:30AM As my mom—massage therapist and regular therapist will tell you—I am a tense human being. Whatever anxiety I’ve got going on in my brain usually manifests itself in my body almost immediately, which means my jaw is constantly clenched, and my feet, hands, and shoulders pretty much always have some kind of weird knots or kinks in them. Not to mention, my post-workout muscle soreness seems to stick around for-e-ver. Despite religious foam rolling, I’ve just never quite been able to target those tricky, smaller spots that are really in need of some relief. But recently, I discovered a way to make my body hate me slightly less that doesn’t require me dropping the full contents of my bank account on massages and icy plunge pools: One itty, bitty cork ball from 42 Birds may have—dare I say it—changed my life for the better. Nowadays, when I feel tense, I pluck the cork ball (the size of an extra-ripe cherry) from my hiding place at my desk at work. While I brainstorm ideas and edit stories, I etch it against my jawline and trace the tense-feeling places that need relief, until my jaw tension is no more. I’d heard of using massage balls for muscle release on your glutes and hamstrings before (thanks, Charlee Atkins!), but I had no idea that with a smaller ball, the same principle could be translated to my feet, hands, and, here’s my face. “The smaller ball just works wonders on your face. We hold
2019 is the Year of the Homebody—And We’re So Here for It
December 16, 2018 at 06:30PM Are you noticing the seismic shift of what used to be weekends spent out sipping wine and munching on apps has turned into eating cauliflower pizza while soaking in a bubble bath? It’s official: Being a card-carrying homebody is now more acceptable than ever. Call it the JOMO effect—but what ups the ante from a standard night on the couch to a true moment to recharge your batteries is the little touches. Like, for example, the clean-home essentials from Caldrea, which transform your living room (or kitchen, or bathroom) into a fragrant oasis you might never want to leave again. On that note—and a decidedly festive one, as well—we hosted a cozy evening of manis, make-your-own flower bouquets, and gift wrapping at New York City’s tenoverten salon celebrating the power of scent and serious relaxation. For a play-by-play on how to recreate the magic (and some last-minute gifting ideas, to boot), take a peek inside. Scroll down for some homebody inspo on how to make your space feel like a sanctuary for self care. Photo: Tim Gibson for Well+Good The nail polish wall of our dreams is real and lives at tenoverten in the Financial District—complete with Caldrea’s soaps, room sprays, and candles to match. (And yes, this is total vanity/bathroom/everything inspo for organizing your own home.) Guests were greeted by this cheery sight before heading into a room full of plush chairs and magical aromas. Photo: Tim Gibson for Well+Good As attendees filtered in, they sipped on pink
8 infused water recipes for when plain H20 just won’t cut it
December 14, 2018 at 07:59AM The first rule of wellness: Hydration, hydration, hydration. Basically every healthy influencer swears by downing a glass of water first thing in the a.m. (with a nice slice of lemon, of course), dietitians preach about its importance in aiding digestion, and beauty experts swear it’s the key to having dewy, glow-y skin. But here’s the thing: Not everyone loves the taste of plain water, making drinking enough a bit of a struggle. And it probably means you’re more likely to reach for juice, soda, or kombucha than H20—making your hydration habit come with a sizable side of sugar. Womp, womp. But there’s no need to just be sad and basic with your water in the quest of good health. You can infuse your water with fruit, herbs, and spices to add flavor without any added sugars—so it’s really the best of both worlds. And a word to the wise: Infused waters are also clutch during holiday season when you’re trying to hydrate after a long night of nog and mulled wine. What’s not to love? Here are 8 infused water recipes to try—enough to keep things interesting. Photo: Simple Vegan Blog 1. Strawberry-orange mint water This combo of citrus and mint from Simple Vegan Blog creators Alberto Aragon and Iosune Robles is basically the definition of refreshing. Since winter isn’t exactly peak strawberry season, buy a bag of frozen ones, slice, and add a few after they de-thaw. Photo: The First Mess 2. Strawberry rosewater chia fresca The First
True or false: Taking a bath is totally disgusting
December 12, 2018 at 08:57AM Although I am a fan of bathleisure, and really any trend in which I get to wear a robe and call it #fashion, I don’t actually like taking baths. And yet, over the last few months, it seems like I can’t stop coming across studies and articles that claim baths are good for alleviating depression and reducing inflammation. I’m still not sold, however, on the concept of basking in a hot bucket of water with no ventilation. To me, baths have always been a last resort—something you do if you’re at an old-timey bed and breakfast that has only a clawfoot tub. This is something that was further cemented by living in New York as an adult and finding that bathtubs aren’t usually an inviting part of the washroom set up. But when this came up at the Well+Good office, it derailed a meeting, sending us into a deep discussion of bath etiquette and whether it’s relaxing…or disgusting. Below, the four sudsy sides of the debate. The anti-bath argument The minute my parents allowed me to choose between a bath and a shower, I stopped taking baths. To me, the concept has always been…icky, to say the least. Aside from the discomfort and potential hazards of stewing in a cauldron of hot water (pruny-ness, heat exhaustion, dead skin floaters), it’s an oxymoron to marinate in your own filth to get clean. And yes, I hear and understand the argument that it’s relaxing, but you know what else
5 major reasons why sleeping next to your S.O. is so freaking hard
December 12, 2018 at 07:37AM Falling asleep—and staying asleep—can be a struggle even in the best of circumstances. A fluffy duvet and a California king-sized bed aren’t always enough to counteract bedtime anxiety, a crying baby, or neighbors who love to rock out to heavy metal at 2 a.m. But an extra obstacle to getting that sweet, sweet shut-eye: your significant other. A 2018 survey of 2,000 people who live with their partner found that one in five people say their partner is the biggest reason why they have trouble sleeping. And having a partner snoring in bed was the biggest complaint on the list. For more insight, I called two of the most respected sleep experts in the industry: Shelby Harris, Psy.D, C.BSM, who is the director of the behavioral sleep medicine program at the Sleep-Wake Disorders Center at Montefiore Medical Center (she’s also an assistant professor of neurology and psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine), and Charlottesville Neurology and Sleep Medicine owner W. Chris Winter, M.D., a sleep researcher, neurologist, and the author of The Sleep Solution. Regardless of what the issue is, both experts stress that having the exact same sleeping preferences as your partner isn’t always in the cards—and that’s normal. The key is to approach it with compassion. “You should care about your partner’s sleep quality,” Dr. Harris says. “If you don’t—or they don’t care about yours—that’s a whole other discussion.” Here, they share some of the biggest sleep problems for couples—and how to deal with them. If you
Yes, you can be addicted to achieving—and it’s not a good thing
December 11, 2018 at 02:25PM So, here’s a disturbing phenomenon I’ve noticed recently—I can no longer relax or enjoy my life if what I’m doing in the moment isn’t something I consider “productive” or hasn’t been “earned” by a completed to-do list. Creepy, right? For a while now, I’ve been scheduling every hour of every workday—sometimes, every minute of every hour—to maximize my daily output. And then, somewhere along the way, I added weekends, too. This doesn’t feel oppressive, either. It feels good. It’s a timed checklist and I get a dopamine hit every time an hour passes and I’ve actually done what I’m “supposed” to do…according to taskmaster me. This may sound normal or even enviable to you—after all, productivity is seen as a positive thing in our society—but it began to alarm me when I realized I no longer derived pleasure from vacations or the rare days on which I shunned the checklist to, you know, live. (Yes, I’d rather complete a to-do list full of busy work than lie on a beach—seriously!) And when you couple this with the fact that I’ve burned out from every job I’ve ever had and yet can’t seem to stop trying to over-deliver to the point of never wanting to deliver again, I have to wonder why the eff I’m addicted to not just productivity, but to achieving more generally. Serendipitously, I discovered I’m not alone in this experience (to which you may be thinking, “duh”) just as I began
It’s not best practice to wait till after the holidays to dump your partner—so, time to get brave
December 11, 2018 at 05:30AM The holidays are like a pressure cooker for relationships—regardless of whether or not the unions are healthy. Between the gift-giving and the family get-togethers, many mini “tests” of romantic love happen between, oh, right now and the new year. While the season of joy is counterintuitively tough on the happiest of couples, if you’ve been unhappy in your a relationship for a bit, the holidays can feel even worse. Maybe you’re ready to say goodbye to the relationship, but you feel guilty about calling it quits given the timing. If this is the case, should you wait until after the holidays, so you don’t swiftly cancel all the festive couple plans—holiday parties, and family visits, and exchanging the presents you already purchased—on your mutual docket, right along with canceling the relationship itself? The answer, according to Megan Stubbs, EdD, a board-certified sexologist and relationship expert, is no. “I’m very pro rip-the-Band-Aid-off,” she says. “If you’re unhappy in the relationship, you’re only going to prolong things by waiting until after the holidays are over.” Obviously, certain variables can affect whether or not you choose to end a relationship, like what the issue actually is and how long you’ve been together. But Dr. Stubbs is clear: In the majority of these cases, it’s better to end things now instead of waiting, even though it’s never easy breaking up with someone. “If you’re unhappy in the relationship, you’re only going to prolong things by waiting until after the holidays are over.”
This Ayurvedic Morning Routine Will Help You Feel Grounded & Balanced All Day Long
December 11, 2018 It’s all about blending the ancient and the modern. Continue Reading…
7 of the most epic overwater bungalows worldwide—because you deserve nice things
December 10, 2018 at 08:00AM TBH, I’ve always been skeptical of overwater bungalows. Okay, cool, I’d think. You pay a zillion-dollar markup to be atop the water as opposed to next to it. Totally makes sense, eye-roll, eye-roll. Then, I stayed in one. It was the most magical vacation experience of my entire life, sans even a whiff of hyperbole. After six nights spent sleeping on stilts, with my bungalow’s doors ajar so I could hear the rushing water, and seven days of jumping from my bedroom directly into the crystalline ocean waters, I felt years younger. I slept like a baby, experienced exactly nil bouts of anxiety, and I didn’t have a single negative thought. But why? Guzzling water is unquestionably good for you, but are other types of hydrotherapy similarly healing? Marine biologist and author of Blue Mind, Wallace J. Nichols, PhD, says absolutely. “There’s a long list of positive health benefits derived from spending time near, in, on or under water, including stress and anxiety reduction, treatment of depression, and relief from the overwhelming sensory overload associated with autism,” he tells me. “There’s a long list of positive health benefits derived from spending time near, in, on or under water.” —Wallace J. Nichols, PhD, marine biologist In fact, he even created a term to explain these benefits: The title of his book. “Blue mind,” he says, “refers to the mildly meditative state we feel when near, in, on or under water.” This helps to contextualize research noting that those who live near coasts