August 16, 2019 at 03:01AM by CWC I’ve never been particularly traditional, especially when it comes to relationships, but even I was thrown for a loop after falling in love with someone who “didn’t do monogamy.” Matt was a musician with a punk mentality who “didn’t do” much of anything conventional. At first, his argument against monogamy read to me like an argument for the sexual promiscuity so easily enabled by tour life. But when I told him there had been chaos in my childhood due to infidelity, he asked me if I thought that the constant turmoil, which resulted from the expectation of monogamy, was actually easier to deal with than the understanding that the expectation is unnatural and therefore shouldn’t be imposed. I had to admit I could see his point. Still, I more so agreed to try a polyamorous setup because I was head over heels and just wanted to continue the relationship, not because I actually wanted to do it. I wasn’t happy about it, either. I have a mean jealous streak, and knowledge of his relationships outside of ours made me crazy, especially because I couldn’t imagine seeing anyone else. Or at least, not at first. My two relationships were very different, and I was getting different needs met in both. Then, I met someone else who, for various reasons, wasn’t right for an all-or-nothing relationship either. So, I began to see them both, and eventually I was in love with two different people at
Category: You and your body
Asked and answered: Does getting acupuncture hurt—even a little bit?
August 16, 2019 at 02:35AM by CWC [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juOrU0HAjYA] Does acupuncture really help you relax? Watch the video to find out. As far as wellness trends go, acupuncture is basically the OG. In fact, it’s barely a trend at all—it’s an ancient wellness practice. Still, first-timers may have anxieties about that first session, which, in practice, can really infringe on an ability to Zen out. That’s why the latest episode of What the Wellness, the Well+Good YouTube series that follows producer Ella Dove as she unpacks the wildest practices of wellness, aims to quell that timeless question of “does acupuncture hurt?” “Acupuncture needles are the size of human hair, so because the needles are so small, acupuncture is actually a relaxing experience,” says Shari Auth, DACM, co-founder and chief healing officer of New York City-based acupuncture center WTHN. Auth, an acupuncturist, adds that the practice works with with your body’s connective tissue to send messages to your brain that alter brain chemistry. On a physical level, it functions similarly to a massage by loosening tight muscles and producing collagen. (So, yeah, sounds better and also completely different than syringes doctors stick you with.) “Acupuncture needles are the size of human hair, so because the needles are so small, acupuncture is actually a relaxing experience.” —acupuncturist Shari Auth, DACM At WTHN, sound therapy is melded into the treatment (on a heated table!) via beats and guided meditation. Dove selects “Chill” as her track of choice because, of course. She also opts
Can’t figure out why you’re upset? Just look to the ‘triangle of change’
August 15, 2019 at 04:00PM by CWC I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself feeling upset, and when my boyfriend or BFF asks “what’s wrong?” all that follows is extreme confusion. In fact, I often even feel this way when I personally try to introspect to decipher what the heck feels wrong. While I clearly sometimes have trouble understanding my emotions, a quick poll of my co-workers revealed to me that this is a way more common scenario than I initially realized. And that’s largely why I was so happy to discover the triangle of change. The triangle of change is a revolutionary (but actually classic) model for addressing the oh-so-common exchange of “what’s wrong?” “oh, nothing….” And it’s so necessary, because not much feels worse than being in a funk, yet not being able to find your way out because you can’t pinpoint the root cause of the bad feelings. When I first came upon this idea, dubbed “The Change Triangle” by psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, in a Psychology Today article, I finally felt seen. The thought behind it is that your emotions can stem from three basic elements: core emotions, inhibitory emotions, and defenses. Upon understanding each of those, pros say you’re instantly better equipped to handle those emotions, feelings, and concerns. “The triangle of change assists individuals in making sense of their emotions in the most tolerable way possible,” says psychotherapist Jennifer Silvershein, LCSW. “It’s largely supported by the tools we’re taught through
Society still has a pretty messed up way of talking about ‘healthy’ eating—here’s why that matters
August 15, 2019 at 03:00PM by CWC When I first started writing about food several years ago, I didn’t think twice about referring to mac and cheese as an “indulgence” or using the term “clean eating.” I tried to steer clear of talk about calorie counting, weight, or fad diets (so progressive, I thought!), but my tone in some ways still implied that certain styles of eating were better than others. I’ve since learned that healthy eating looks different for everybody. A promising new study from June even backs this up, finding that 60 percent of how a person’s body reacts to food is completely unrelated to their DNA. Our bodies all have slightly different needs, and while some things are objectively true (everyone could stand to eat some more vegetables!), there’s variation in the details. Some people might swear by the keto diet for revved-up energy levels and mental clarity, for example, while others might say the same about the Paleo diet or veganism. So why do so many of us—writers, nutrition experts, and researchers included—talk about food choices in very, well, judgmental ways? In the wellness world we may have moved on from praising “bikini bodies” and “cleansing,” but the words we choose to talk about healthy food so often imply (or scream outright) that certain ways of eating are inherently good and others are bad. The morality of food choices goes back a long way Nutrition is a relatively young science. The first government food guide, Farmer’s Bulletin,
These swimsuits double as sports bras, so I’ll be wearing them long past Labor Day
August 15, 2019 at 02:00PM by CWC I’ve long been a believer in strategic swimwear. I love when a triangle top that peeks out during a dance-floor move can be excused as a bathing suit, or a when bandeau bikini that gives new, family-gathering-appropriate life to a v-neck that might have otherwise been cut too low. In my opinion, a swimsuit styled with actual clothing is the definition of summer outfit perfection. And applying this double-duty move to activewear—aka wearing your bikini top as a sports bra—is not only stylish, but it’s actually a fairly logical move. For me, throwing on a supportive bathing suit and heading to a workout about the ease of wear, and also about getting twice the bang for your bathing suit buck… even if swimming isn’t even part of the equation that day. Practicing free yoga stretches in my living room to Amazon Prime’s finest instructors means that a torso-flattering Boys + Arrows Phil Top ($98) can provide just the right lines and lift without the pressure. And for frisbee tosses on the actual beach, Cover’s Swim Sports Bra ($100) is a real winner. This multitasking attitude has been everywhere lately, as brands give bikini/sports bra hybrids new life both in and out of the water. Photo: Summersalt Summersalt Mesh Diver Bikini Top ($50) Take Summersalt, the sustainable swimwear label who launched their activewear line this month with the intention of giving everything from halter bikini tops to color-blocked leggings a double meaning. Pulled on
Approximately 1,000 yoga teachers have told me this is the most relaxing pose
August 15, 2019 at 11:38AM by CWC Whenever I take a yin yoga class (which is all about deep, long stretching), I can almost feel my thoughts melting into beautiful pink goo. Pigeon pose is my main squeeze. I’d sell my first born child before letting forward fold slip through my fingertips. But there’s one asana that I wouldn’t give up for anything. A pose that many of my yoga teachers have declared to be, and I quote, “the most relaxing” asana out there. Now that I have you on the edge of your seat, I’ll tell you that the pose with said mystical reputation is half frog pose. When you do the pose’s two-legged version, it’s a powerful groin stretch wherein you really, truly do look like an amphibian. Picture this: both your knees are on the mat and splayed out wide, your calves form a 90-degree angle with your thighs, and you slowly lower your chest to the ground until sensation leaps through your lower body. The half version is much more gentle. You lie all the way down on your stomach then hike one knee up so it’s forms just one 90-degree angle. It feels like tension is pouring out of you the minute you slide into it. But since I wasn’t sure why, I asked yoga teacher Lindsay Pirozzi of New York City’s Y7 studio why half frog is such a standout. “It’s so relaxing because you’re reclining on the yin side of your body–which is the front
Why it’s smart to keep a ‘kitchen curfew,’ according to a registered dietitian
August 15, 2019 at 09:59AM by CWC I don’t know about you, but my watch always reads snack o’clock. I research nutritious noshing options like it’s my job (because… it kinda is); spoiling my dinner is just a given at this point. When Brigitte Zeitlin, RD, dietitian and founder BZ Nutrition shared a nugget of wisdom for how to make my evening routine a little bit healthier at the most recent Well+Good TALK in New York City, I leaned forward in my chair. According to the dietitian, a simple way to do your digestive tract a solid in the evening is to set a “kitchen curfew,” or a cutoff point where the refrigerator and pantry (un)officially become a no-go zones. “Ideally, you want to stop eating at least two hours before going to bed,” said Zeitlin. “When you’re sleeping, everything’s slowing down, your body’s going into rest mode. So is your digestive system.” Eating too late gives your body a tight timeline between your last bite and sliding beneath your sheets. Your body may not digest your food as well as it could have. “Ideally, you want to stop eating at least two hours before going to bed.” —Brigitte Zeitlin, RD At first, this may seem like no big deal, but Zeitlin explains that it starts a chain reaction. “You might not get the best night of sleep ever; you might wake up a couple of times at up with indigestion. And then, if you wake up in the morning
These $10 fancy-smelling body wipes are the only thing better than a shower itself
August 15, 2019 at 09:45AM by CWC There are few things in this world more uncomfortable than having to go through a day without a shower. By 11 a.m., your body starts to feel sticky and gross, and by the time that lunch rolls around, every other thought that pops into your head is something along the lines of: “Can everyone else tell that I smell kind of funky?” So rest assured that the only thing that’s standing in my way of skipping my shower and gaining an hour back in my day is the certainty that I’ll smell like Tom Ford Neroli Portofino ($240) from head-to-toe for the entire day (and hopefully many after). While you’ll certainly find me spritzing this perfume every chance I can in pursuit of smelling like orange blossoms, I found a solution that can help me nix the sweat while still smelling fresh. SweetSpot Labs Neroli Mandarin On-The-Go Feminine Wipes ($10) are 98% natural, glycerin and alcohol free, and gynecologist-recommended—so you can use them on your whole body, including your nether regions, and it smells faintly as if you’ve spritzed yourself with an iconic eau de parfum, while also getting clean. Photo: SweetSpot Labs Like the iconic perfume, the SweetSpot Labs wipes are also made with notes of neroli, plus the fresh scent of mandarin. The same scent also comes in a body wash—which retails for $12—and is made with a mix of aloe vera plus coconut, jojoba, and sunflower oils so that whether
If you live your life in leggings, elevate your look with the latest athleisure must-have
August 15, 2019 at 09:28AM by CWC If you think leggings make you feel free, just wait until you slip on an exercise dress. Ever since Outdoor Voices released its iconic dress meant for #DoingThings—whether that’s running trails or errands—it’s become a summer staple for ladies everywhere. But why stop with one when you can have an entire drawer full of comfy exercise dresses to wear throughout the week? With the growing popularity of the athleisure must-have, there are plenty of places to snag an exercise dress, from big-name brands to Amazon, at all price points. And considering fall is well over a month away, there’s still plenty of time left to rock them as much as possible before leggings season officially arrives. The best exercise dresses Buy Now Outdoor Voices Exercise Dress in Mineral Blooms $100 Buy Now Lululemon In Your Court Dress $59 Buy Now Athleta Match Point Dress in SuperSonic $89 Buy Now Kimmery Criss-Cross Back Tank Dress $26 Buy Now Under Armour Move Light Dress $53 Buy Now NikeCourt Dri-FIT Tennis Dress $70 Buy Now Patagonia Women’s Sliding Rock Dress $53 Buy Now Outdoor Voices Exercise Dress in Dove Frost $100 Buy Now Athleta Reversible Santorini High Neck Dress $128 Here’s why the next wave of athleisure is the coziest one yet. Also, check out the fashion-forward athleisure pieces that will keep you warm once the temperature drops. ad_intervals[‘415711_div-gpt-ad-7520022-3’] = setInterval(function () { if (ads_ready) { clearTimeout(ad_intervals[‘415711_div-gpt-ad-7520022-3’]); googletag.cmd.push(function(){googletag.display(‘div-gpt-ad-7520022-3’);}); } }, 100); Continue Reading… Author Tehrene Firman
The key differences between having unrealistic expectations and demanding what you deserve
August 15, 2019 at 08:32AM by CWC Anyone’s who’s ever lived a day or had any desire ever—whether it’s related to a relationship, a job, or even a meal—is familiar with the concept of having expectations. After all, it would be tough to work toward something you want without having a sense or expectation of how it may pan out for you. That said, things often don’t go according to plan—relationships fail, jobs get lost, meals fall flat. When these disappointments hit, confusion can often ensue, leading someone to question whether the situation went awry because it’s an aberration from what should have happened or because unrealistic expectations were at play. That question of whether expectations are unrealistic—can weigh on the anxious mind heavily, especially when other aspects of life are in limbo. The result can be a never-ending loop of second-guessing expectations you may have: Do I have unrealistic expectations regarding a salary negotiation? Do I have unrealistic expectations for expecting I’d get a text back after three dates? Do I have unrealistic expectations for expecting to leave a doctor’s appointment feeling empowered or at least fairly treated? …Sometimes after going down this type rabbit hole, I feel more certain than ever that my expectations are exactly where they should be. But, there is a diving line between having unrealistic expectations and demanding what you deserve—and it has to do with narcissism. “One of the biggest differences between a narcissist and someone who values themselves in a healthy way