May 21, 2019 at 03:00PM by CWC The only thing getting my editor through an especially awful week is the rule of three. Her first brush with bad luck happened bright and early on Monday, when a pigeon broke into our office and pooped on her head, point blank. Then she came home to no WiFi or cable and was stood up for a breakfast meeting the next morning. But when she finally hit that crappy-event threshold of unlucky number three, she felt…calm. Like, she had fulfilled the terms of her sentencing and was once again free to live her life unencumbered by the negative will of the universe, all thanks to the ever-so-unscientific rule of three. Often, the rule of three is connected to death—celebrity death, in particular—and understanding the principle in this specific scope can be helpful for its applications elsewhere. Upon deeper thought though, I realized the rule itself is inherently flawed because of its totally subjective parameters in both timeline and definition. For instance, are we counting deaths that happen by the end of the week? Month? Year? Furthermore, not everyone is looking toward the same three “celebrities”; the people who are mourning Doris Day aren’t necessarily mourning Grumpy Cat, y’know? But despite matters of life and death and goings-on beyond our control being very random on a macro level, assigning them a pattern of sorts to govern them helps us cope. This assigned significance even has a name: apophenia. “Apophenia is an error of perception:
Tag: Media
Whether you’re a night owl or an early bird, here’s what your bedtime says about you
May 12, 2019 at 04:00AM by CWC Have you ever been awake, late at night (or even into the wee morning hours), hopelessly wondering, “What time should I go to bed?” Probably, since sleep and feeling sleepy is a pretty constant topic of conversation, and (spoiler alert!) most of us aren’t getting enough. In fact, a survey of nearly 1,500 Well+Good readers revealed that people spend an average of six sleepless hours in bed a week, and 92 percent report feeling fatigued more than once a week, which is, you know, not ideal. So is your bedtime part of the problem, or is it just a matter of preference? According to one pro, there’s no right bedtime. “Honestly, I don’t really ever prescribe an ideal bedtime because there’s natural variations from one person to another,” says licensed psychologist and sleep-health expert Shelby Harris, PsyD. “Some people are early birds, myself included—I’d LOVE to be asleep by 9:30 p.m. every night. And others are night owls—my husband, for instance, likes to stay up until 1 a.m. sometimes.” Rather, the main issue at play here is making sure you get the right quality of sleep, and that your sleep duration makes sense with your bedtime of choice. But if you’re still curious about what your bedtime might actually signify about you and your sleeping habits, scroll down for Dr. Mary Grace’s* expert observations. Hour by hour, here’s what your bedtime says about you. 8 p.m.: You are either a farmer or a journalist
Dear ‘Game of Thrones’: Sexual assault is not a rite of passage for women
May 06, 2019 at 12:23PM by CWC [Editor’s note: Spoilers ahead for season 8, episode 4 of Game of Thrones.] Last night while watching Game of Thrones, one particular moment almost sent me into a rage blackout. No, it wasn’t when Arya rejected Gendry’s marriage proposal (I actually cheered at that one). It was when Sansa had a heart-to-heart with her former protector, Sandor “The Hound” Clegane. The two characters haven’t seen each other since the end of season two, and the Hound says that he’s heard about what’s happened to his “little bird” since (the death of her parents and two of her brothers; two forced marriages, including one that involved brutal sexual assault and degradation; manipulation and repeated harassment by another powerful man, etc.). He tells Sansa that if she had left King’s Landing with him all of those years ago, she wouldn’t have experienced any of the misery she has been put through in the six seasons since. In reply, Sansa tenderly places her hand over The Hound’s and says, “Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would’ve stayed a little bird all my life.” This might seem like an innocuous statement; Sansa is objectively a different person than she was at the beginning of the show, when we knew her as young, naive teen heading down to the capital with fantasies of a royal wedding (her own) dancing in her head. But the subtext beneath it—that she was weak before, and that surviving countless instances
Get in bed with the sleep hypnosis meditation that’s one of Apple’s top health podcasts
May 06, 2019 at 08:38AM by CWC Oh, sleep. How is it that a single syllable contains so much meaning and causes the human population so much grief? Feeling tired all the time seems to be the collective mood of the 21st century. So many of us are in relentless pursuit of a good night’s rest. And if Apple’s trending podcasts are any indication, sleep hypnosis meditation is the audible solution we’ve all been dreaming of. Being the wellness podcast nerd that I am, I often scroll through Apple’s top 100 podcasts just for fun. It’s there that I first noticed an episode called “Autogenic Relaxation for Sleep,” which has been dominating the list for a few weeks (by my count). The 15-minute sequence was created by Meditation Oasis, and involves drawing attention to how each of your body parts feel from head to toe (e.g., my hips are warm and heavy) as you’re lying between your heavenly soft sheets. Calming music rounds out the listening experience. Autogenic relaxation is a method developed by psychiatrists defined as “a technique which involves progressive relaxation of the extremities, heartbeat stabilization, and maintenance of slow, deep breaths,” according to anxiety.org. If you’ve ever done a body scan in yoga class or tried the U.S. army’s technique for falling asleep, you’re familiar with the mesmerizing process of checking in with each and every extremity. A 2002 meta-analysis of 73 studies found autogenic relaxation useful for treating sleep disorders, as well as hypertension, migraines, and
Underwire? I don’t know her. This bra is my B cups’ new BFF
May 02, 2019 at 11:52AM by CWC Last night, I did the unthinkable and slept in my bra. Anyone with boobs is intimately familiar with the irresistible compulsion to tear off your bra Hulk-style by 8 p.m. at the latest. But not this time. Not since the invention of memory foam mattresses has human flesh felt so held, so completely snug. Underwire? I don’t know her anymore, thanks to my discovery of the world’s most comfortable bra. Chantelle’s Soft Stretch Padded V-Neck Bra Top ($54) is wireless, clasp-less, and has all the function of a sports bra with the soft caress of a bralette. The garment also eschews the ultra-utilitarian aesthetic of many other options out there that don’t feel like—well—cages. At the risk of sounding like a 4 a.m. infomercial, the 18-hour period I’ve owned this bra has changed my outlook on what my chest deserves to feel. Quite frankly, I think I’ve found my B cups’ one true pairing. When I slid Chantelle’s design over my head yesterday afternoon in Well+Good’s bathroom (what? I couldn’t wait!), I said to myself quietly: “Oh, we are sleeping in this tonight!” As a current graduate school student who sometimes doesn’t crawl into bed until midnight on week days, the idea of not having to remove my bra before escaping beneath the covers felt like a beautiful, beautiful luxury. Although this is only secondary to comfort in my opinion, the bra also looks perfectly normal under my shirt. I’m totally incognito. I left
Use the 5 love languages to boost the most important relationship in your life: the one with yourself
April 30, 2019 at 07:49AM by CWC People receive love differently, so knowing your love language and communicating it can help you and your S.O. get on the same page and also give your friendships a hearty dose of meaningfulness. And, guess what? It can also improve the most important relationship in your life—the one you have with yourself. Self-love is central to living a joyful life and attracting the love we deserve—so knowing what fulfills you and being able to use that intel to actually fulfill yourself is an invaluable skill. “Many of us look for happiness outside of ourselves,” says therapist Joyce Marter, LCPC. “We’re looking for the perfect job, or the perfect relationship, or the bank account, or we’re focused on the externals. And really, joy and happiness can be found inside of us.” Marter says that if you know the ways you prefer to receive love—using Gary Chapman’s love-language concept from his book, The 5 Love Languages—you can do those things for yourself and be less reliant on others to meet those needs. (If you haven’t already, take the official love-language quiz. We’ll be here when you get back). How to us your love language on yourself (and reap the happiness-boosting rewards). Words of affirmation Affirmations can be something you say to yourself, either out loud or in your head, or that you write down in a journal. You can create these self-love mantras yourself, or they can come from others (Marter recommends daily affirmations from
Educate yourself in the sexiest way with this reading list from 12 leading sexperts
April 27, 2019 at 06:00AM by CWC Finding answers to questions relating to sex and sexuality is easier than ever before. No matter what you’re looking for, there’s likely a sexpert or a podcast or another source to point you in the right direction. There’s even a whole Netflix show, Sex Education, devoted to the filling in the gaps of our knowledge. Still, there’s a (tech-free) resource you’re probably not utilizing to the max that can seriously boost your sex IQ: books. Below, Well+Good’s go-to sex experts and educators share their favorite sex-education books—including buzzy newer releases and tried and true faves alike—that’ll rock your mind. Add the following 12 sexpert-approved reads to your TBR pile and boost your sex IQ in the process. Photo: Getty Images/Tammy Hanratty 1. The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love, by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton “This was one of the most transformative books for me. I grew up in a community where having many sexual partners, engaging in kinky activities, or having relationships outside of strict monogamy was seen as abnormal, even immoral. The Ethical Slut changed my entire concept about what sex and relationships can be. It validated my sexual desires, encouraged exploration, and valued sex with consent and respect. Its explanation and understanding of jealousy also reframed my perception of the feeling. I would highly recommend this read for anyone who feels outside the sexual norm (whatever that
The Well+Good Cookbook is officially here!
April 24, 2019 at 06:30PM by CWC After a year of vision-boarding, taste-testing, and tapping into the Well+Good community of healthy foodies, experts, and luminaries for their culinary know-how, it’s official: The Well+Good Cookbook is finally here! The goal? We wanted to find out what wellness gurus actually make on a regular weeknight—or day-time lunch, or rushed pre-office morning. The result is an eye-opening peek into the kitchens and recipe faves of some of the smartest people in wellness, with serious ease (and healthy benefits) at the center of every genius recipe. The Well+Good Cookbook is filled with go-to meals you can whip up in a pinch (like celeb nutritionist Kelly Leveque’s flaxseed chicken tenders), or roll out for a show-stopping Netflix night with friends (just throw an egg on Lea Michele’s shaved radicchio, Parmesan, and truffle pizza). And because there’s no better way to kick off a cookbook launch than with a cocktail party, we did just that on April 16, bringing together cookbook contributors over a few of the book’s standout recipes. Scroll down for a peek at some of the wellness luminaries and recipes you’ll find in the The Well+Good Cookbook. We took over Williamsburg’s Egg Shop (executive chef Nick Korbee’s Whitefish Niçoise Salad was selected for the book cover!) for an evening of drinks, Photobooth sessions, and taste testing of some of the book’s party-friendly apps. Speaking of party-friendly apps, Well+Good Council member McKel Hill’s Sweet Onion Dip was a hit. Well+Good co-founders Alexia Brue and
How EMDR can help people process traumatic events
April 19, 2019 at 02:00PM by CWC Do you remember the scene in Netflix’s Russian Doll where Nadia’s adopted aunt and psychologist, Ruth, coaches a client through a traumatic past experience while offering advice on how to improve his marriage? The bleary-eyed client recalls a troubling incident while his eyes follow green dots traveling back and forth across a light bar. No? I don’t blame you—at first glance, the scene didn’t seem related to the plot. However, it depicts one of the multiple tools used in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (or EMDR), a form of psychotherapy that, according to some Reddit theorists, plays a significant role throughout Russian Doll and might have influenced the name of the show. However, it’s not just a TV thing—EMDR is a real (albeit somewhat controversial) mental health treatment. Kerry Mack, a filmmaker living in New York, has been using EMDR to cope with her traumas over the last eight years. “When I was 12, my older brother passed away very unexpectedly at the age of 17, and I have used EMDR to process memories inside the hospital when he passed, during his funeral, and a lot of the associated aftermath,” she says. But what exactly is this, and how could something seemingly as simple as looking at blinking lights be so helpful? What is EMDR? The short version: EMDR is a type of psychotherapy that helps people desensitize and reprocess triggering or traumatic memories so they’re no longer emotionally charged. “When a person is upset,
This body language clue is a dead giveaway that someone’s stressed
April 18, 2019 at 11:30AM by CWC Whenever I see someone with impeccable posture, it always catches me off guard. In this slumpy world of desk jobs, binge-watching Netflix, and scrolling through social media for hours on end, finding yourself in an upright position—shoulders back and head high!—is increasingly rare. You might be familiar with some of the most noticeable effects of poor posture (like back pain and headaches), but one you probably haven’t thought about is how it changes your breathing. The next time you’re slouched over, take a deep breath. It’s kind of hard, isn’t it? “Whether we’re exercising or working at the computer, how we hold our bodies can have a strong effect on our capacity to breathe well,” says Stacy Dockins, author of Embodied Posture. “A slumped—or forward rounded posture—diminishes the space in which breath happens by decreasing the chest wall diameter, keeping the lungs from full inflation and free movement. Not only do the lungs have decreased capacity, the functionality of the diaphragm—the main muscle of respiration—is also diminished. With good posture, the natural, neutral shape of the spine and ribs return, freeing up the respiration space, while encouraging full function of the diaphragm and corresponding muscles of respiration.” Poor posture limits the diaphragm’s ability to do its job, which could be one of the prime reasons you aren’t feeling as good as you could be every day. Something as simple as not breathing your fullest breaths could lead to a ripple effect of issues