March 06, 2019 at 08:00AM by CWC After I Kondo’d my apartment last year, I stared down the next challenge: staying Kondo’d. So I sent my family a note politely asking them to refrain from buying me any gifts for the foreseeable future. I really did have everything I need, I told them—especially by way of material items. They’ve complied thus far, but my birthday’s approaching, and they’re loving and generous and also stubborn, so it’s time for another reminder. Given that since last year, Marie Kondo has sparked joy in the Netflix queue and also lives of so many, I reckon I’m not the only new-to-the-scene minimalist out there who appreciates kindness but doesn’t wan’t any extra stuff. So, for my caring family and also my likeminded reformed materialists, I created a list a list of non-tangible stuff I’d actually appreciate in case they insist on treating me (they will). Here are 9 gift ideas bound to spark joy for the minimalist in your life. 1. Fitness stuff Part of me sometimes wishes that my job, instead of giving me a paycheck, would just direct deposit credits into my ClassPass account. Have a fitness fiend in your life? Hook them up with points, or classes at their favorite studio. For the home gym rat, look into Mirror (which, okay, is a physical item—but it’s also a functional piece of furniture) or a subscription to a fitness app, like Aaptiv or on-demand streaming workouts. 2. Wellness stuff For an IRL experience, try a
Tag: Media
We asked a psychologist how to cope when you really, really miss someone
March 04, 2019 at 07:00AM by CWC Sometimes feelings of deep longing for someone who is no longer in your life creep up when you least expect it. Maybe it’s because a song comes on your Spotify playlist they totally loved. Maybe it’s because Netflix just announced the third season of a show you used to watch together. Or maybe you’re home alone and can’t help but reminisce on all the fun times you used to have together. Whatever the reason, it always totally sucks. “There’s no one answer about what to do when you miss someone—it really depends on the situation,” says psychologist Gregory Kushnick, PsyD. To his point, grappling with feeling of missing an ex versus a friend who moved away or a loved one who has passed away are all completely different scenarios. Fortunately, he has experience helping clients through these hard times, and he’s sharing his tips here too. Keep reading for expert tips from a psychologist about what to do when you miss someone. Photo: Stocksy/Bonnin Studio 1. If you miss someone who lives far away It can really suck when your partner-in-crime is no longer just a text away from being able to meet up for happy hour or a spin class. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have long distance, virtual dates. “It helps to have set times planned to talk on the phone,” Dr. Kushnick says. “That way, it gives you both something to look forward to and a time to catch up
How we show up at the gym says a lot about how we show up in life
March 04, 2019 at 04:00AM by CWC Divvying up our lives into neat little boxes is kind of what we do. We have eight-plus hours slotted as “work time,” a hot second of “self-care” during our a.m. and p.m. routines, and—of course—a block of sweat-soaked moments, where we head to the gym or our most-treasured boutique studio. But master trainer Meg Takacs is flipping the script: She believes that every skill you need to succeed within the hours of nine to five can be learned between the four walls of your favorite sweat destination. In her forthcoming book, the New York City-based trainer devotes page after page to the argument that how you show up on the treadmill is how you show up in life. Just like you’d crank out a round of high knees before beginning your sweat sesh in earnest, Takacs says easing your way into the workday with meditation or some sort of starting point is key. One of her favorites? Writing a beyond-simple task on her to-do list that she can check off first thing to get the day started on the right foot. “You use that accomplishment as momentum throughout your day to keep going. The more you accomplish, the more you crave to accomplish. So it doesn’t matter what task is at hand, how difficult it is, or how much there is. It’s about just getting started,” she says. Maybe for you that means jotting down “make a green smoothie” or Takacs’ favorite: “wake up.”
This is exactly how long to spend in the shower, according to a derm
March 01, 2019 at 08:16AM by CWC There are two types of shower-takers: those who lazily luxuriate under a waterfall as they lather up with essential oil-spiked suds and those who simply cannot. I fall in the latter category. I treat my showers like sprint practice—the sooner I’m in and out the better. And TBH, while my mom side-eyes the fact that I regularly keep my showers under three minutes (way below average), my skin is likely thanking me for it. For many people, their average shower time far exceeds dermatologists’ recommendations. Allow me to explain. Despite the fact that the warm water is the perfect antidote to chilly temps, the heat isn’t so great for our first line of defense. Studies have shown that hot water can strip away moisture within the epidermis, leaving the skin barrier compromised, inflamed (and dry, in the irony of ironies). Given this, dermatologists say that there are a few things that we can do to address the situation. First off, keep showers short. They don’t have to compete with my gold medal efforts, but they shouldn’t run the length of, say, a Netflix episode either. “I definitely would cap it at 15 minutes,” says dermatologist Mona Gohara, MD. “If your fingers and toes are wrinkly, you’ve been in for too long.” (Rather than Seinfeld, maybe you flip on an episode or two of our YouTube series What the Wellness to count as your timer.) While the length of your showers is super important, so too, is keeping the
Yes, Nickelodeon, I’m a grown woman who is afraid of the dark and sleeps with the light on
February 26, 2019 at 03:00AM by CWC I think my nyctophobia turned my partner into Sandra Bullock in Bird Box. At least, that’s who he most reminded me of the other night when I saw him wearing the sleep mask he uses as a shield from the light I desperately need to stay on all night. Without it, my anxiety soars sky high and my heart pounds. All of this is because—to answer that famed Nickelodeon-prompted question—I am indeed afraid of the dark. Or, maybe I’m just afraid of Samara from The Ring. I don’t find it a coincidence that I started sleeping with the light on after watching the film in 2002, but many find it puzzling that my fright has extended so many years. I’ve found that being an adult and simultaneously having a fear of the dark prompts so many questions from the few people who know about it, and the tonal subtext is often, “Why—and why would you ever share that information?” I get the judgment. See, nyctophobia, as Healthline has taught me with a not-so-necessary air of condescension, tends to dissipate with age. However, my fear really isn’t that huge of an anomaly. One doc says an estimated 11 percent of the United States population is afraid of the dark, making it a more common phobia than a fear of heights. And unlike with heights, where the visual stimuli is responsible for the palpations, nyctophobia is more rooted in the anxiety of having impaired vision, invoking a feeling
How to lift light and still get stronger, according to fitness pros
February 26, 2019 at 03:00AM by CWC No matter what workout or fitness class I’m into at the moment, when it comes time for strength training, I tend to reach for light weights rather than heavy ones. Despite the fact that a single Pure Barre sesh can leave my arms on fire after roughly 10 bajillion up-and-downs with two-pound weights, it’s unclear to me whether or not the lighter-for-longer method is a good way to build muscle compared with fewer reps of heavy weights. “There’s some recent research that suggests you can build muscle just as well with light weights as with heavy weights,” says Alex Hutchinson, PhD and author of What Comes First, Cardio or Weights?. “The key is lifting to failure in each set, or least very close to failure—the point at which you can’t lift the weight one more time. You don’t necessarily have to choose a really heavy weight to do that, which some people find intimidating. You can get pretty much the same effect by choosing a relatively light weight and lifting it more times.” That’s not to say that lifting heavy doesn’t have its own set of benefits (and more on that later…), the point is that no matter what weight you’re working with, you have to make sure you’re challenging yourself and not just curling a two-pound dumbbell aimlessly or without any effort. If you’re curious about how to train with light weights and get stronger, keep reading for some intel from the
How to keep FONC (fear of not chilling) from sparking a bad case of the Sunday Scaries
February 24, 2019 at 05:00AM by CWC In 2019, scheduling “me-time” is kind of a big deal. JOMO (joy of missing out) has dethroned our old pal FOMO, and we’re all editing our personal mission statements to read something like, “Prioritizes hygge above all else.” But what happens when something (ahem, life) gets in the way of your non-plans, and you find yourself longing to cancel everything in favor of falling into your Netflix queue? According to Elizabeth Kott and Stephanie Simbari, co-hosts of the That’s So Retrograde podcast, you’ve got a case of FONC: fear of not chilling. You know you have FONC when your busy schedule causes mild panic about when you’ll have time to treat yourself to some necessary R&R. “It’s kind of the opposite of saying yes to everything,” says Kott, who coined the term in the pod’s most recent episode. “It’s like, I’d rather be home chilling or chilling with friends. If there’s a really busy week, or a really busy few days of the week in a work sense, then I try to allow space for relaxation,” she says. There are also some compelling scientific reasons to take the occasional time out from our jam-packed Google Cals. “Human ‘downtime’ is not like the ‘rest’ of a car or a computer,” Matthew Edlund, MD, writes in Psychology Today. “With human downtime, the body is continually learning, especially when asleep.” This proves especially true for creatives. Referencing a study conducted in the 1980s on Berlin students practicing the violin, Dr. Edlund
Ever tell a harmless white lie just to keep a conversation going? Here’s why
February 22, 2019 at 06:58AM by CWC “You’ve watched Paris, Texas, right?” “Did you see the latest Cardi B rant?” “Can you even believe what’s going on in Washington today?” Flash back to the last conversation you had with an acquaintance who referenced something about which you really have no idea and certainly can’t offer intelligent opinions regarding. There’s a good chance you still cosigned the thought, though—because fake it till you make it, right? This is the agreeable fib, AKA a knee-jerk harmless little white lie that’s probably the most innocuous, unnecessary, and weirdly embarrassing strain of deception. So why do we do it? Why risk getting into a deep, 10-minute conversation hole where the only way out is to admit you don’t even know who Cardi B is? Despite the negative connotation of deceit, the reason is surprisingly wholesome: feeling insecure and just wanting just to fit in. “Given that we’re gregarious creatures who crave to be liked and included, we often provide a ‘white-lie’ response as a primitive response designed to increase a sense of safety,” says clinical psychologist and author of Joy From Fear Carla Marie Manly, PhD. “Although a white-lie response isn’t generally ideal, such instinctive replies often stem from an often-unconscious desire for inclusion.” “Although a white-lie response isn’t generally ideal, such instinctive replies often stem from an often-unconscious desire for inclusion.” —clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD Yeah, this checks out, especially when you consider that the agreeable fib is generally called upon when we’re
How to use love languages to be the best possible friend to all the VIPs in your life
February 21, 2019 at 08:21AM by CWC The concept of love languages isn’t quite new, but I sincerely wish my school offered a course in it. I just recently learned mine (quality time, specifically quality activities), and it’s revolutionized how I approach relationships—most surprisingly, my platonic ones. In his 1992 book The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman offers the framework as a method for keeping love alive within marriage. Spin-off edition tackle other ways to purpose the love-languages, like The 5 Love Languages: Military Edition and The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition. But, based on my experience, it seems Chapman is sitting on yet another best-seller waiting to be written: the friendship edition. The gist of the concept is that people don’t receive love the same way, but rather via one or several love languages: quality time (conversations, activities, undivided attention); acts of service (folding laundry, making dinner, arranging a group birthday gift); receiving gifts (cards, treats, anything that communicates the other person wants to make you happy); words of affirmation (positive feedback, gassing, saying “I love you”); and physical touch (hugs, handshakes, pats on the back). Basically, what makes you feel loved might not do the trick for you loved ones. “Knowing your own love language is a bit like knowing a chapter in your own owner’s manual,” says Rebecca Hendrix, LMFT, an integrative holistic psychotherapist. It can help you identify patterns that reveal what gives you emotional boosts—and the knowledge is theoretically applicable to all of your relationships. “The
10 woman-led movies streaming on Netflix to celebrate a record-breaking year in Hollywood
February 19, 2019 at 01:27PM by CWC The coziest way to pass the time until spring arrives is making a bowl of popcorn, grabbing your favorite fuzzy blanket, and firing up a movie. But don’t just pick whatever’s in the trending tab. There’s no shortage of strong female-lead movies streaming on Netflix.. According to a new study from the Annenberg Inclusion Initiative, 2018 featured the most women in starring roles with women as the leads or co-leads in 40 of the 100 highest-grossing films of the year. That’s an impressive increase since 2017, which featured 32 female leads, and 2007, which featured just 20. On top of that, 2018 witnessed the most people of color in leading roles with 28 films. Further, 11 films featured female leads over 45 years old. To celebrate the victory for #girlpower, grab the remote. Whether you’re into lovey-dovey rom-coms or action flicks or the ultimate thrillers, here are 10 women-led movies you can stream right now. 10 strong female-lead movies to watch on Netflix [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k86KDFh_q6E] 1. Dumplin You don’t have to like pageants to get all the feel-good vibes from this movie starring Jennifer Aniston and Danielle Macdonald. In fact, the body-positive message behind it shakes up the pageant world in the best way and proves star power come in all shapes and sizes. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INJ2bPFy108] 2. Bird Box Bird Box—the movie that inspired thousands of memes—follows Sandra Bullock as she takes on a mysterious evil force that’s killing off the human population, totally blindfolded. Yeah,