August 16, 2019 at 06:58AM by CWC I have a large group of female friends, and we all know one another quite well, both individually and in the scope of our group dynamic. Perhaps as a result of shows like Sex and the City, The Bold Type, and countless others spanning different generations that have normalized the desire to confide in someone (or a group of someones) to work through issues relating to romance, my friends and I often discuss is dating. Like, it’s a given whenever we catch up. But after one of my closest girlfriends introduced me to my now-long-term boyfriend, our conversations took a turn for the censored. Several of my friends knew him before they knew me. And obviously I knew them before I knew him. Now that we’ve been dating for over a year and a half, they have questions, and I’m not sure if I cough up the answers. There comes a point in every relationship when loyalty shifts toward your partner, and dishing about private goings on can feel disrespectful. But when does this line reveal itself, and the timeframe different when there are mutual friends involved? According to clinical psychologist Lindsay Jernigan, PhD, relationships are one of the most crucial parts of our life, and thus require delicate care to uphold. Sometimes, we can be too harsh with our partners, and we need people to hold us accountable. Other times, we need a second opinion about whether we have a right to
Tag: Well+Good
A version of 911 specifically for mental health crises could be coming soon
August 16, 2019 at 06:53AM by CWC Suicide is a huge problem in the United States—the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that suicide rates have increased by 30 percent since 1999, and rates of suicide among women and girls in particular are rising faster than those of men and boys. While the National Suicide Hotline provides invaluable help to those in need, it currently uses a 10-digit number (1-800-273-8255)—not exactly easy to remember during a crisis. Thankfully, a better solution may soon be on the horizon. New recommendations from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) made it abundantly clear that having a faster way to access the hotline (similar to how we call 911 for emergencies) could save countless lives. The research was conducted in response to the 2018 National Suicide Hotline Improvement Act, which required the agency to look into the efficacy of the existing hotline’s services. The report states that “designating a three-digit code dedicated solely for the purpose of a national suicide prevention and mental health hotline would likely make it easier for Americans in crisis to access potentially life-saving resources.” The report recommends that the number 988 be designated for mental health-related emergencies—a move that FCC chairman Ajit Pai supports, according to USA Today. The FCC estimates that the service would cost an extra $50 million more a year to run in order to keep up with increased demand for services. The cost becomes a moot point when you consider the potential positive outcomes
Ditch the stain stick, this baking soda spray gets any evidence of spills out of laundry
August 16, 2019 at 06:44AM by CWC One second you’re enjoying your chilled, iced matcha latte, and the next you have a gigantic green stain staring at you (or popsicle drip this time of year) from your fresh white shirt. It’s happened to the best of us. Typically, a stain that big is something not even your trusty stain stick can fight off. But instead of having to run your shirt through the wash to get rid of it, there’s a homemade spray you can make that cleans your clothes in record time. One of the most powerful stain-fighting combos just so happens to live under your kitchen sink. According to Elle, a half cup of dish soap, a cup of hydrogen peroxide, and a tablespoon of baking soda is all it takes to get rid of any evidence of an unfortunate spill, whether it’s matcha, wine, green juice, or that delicious spaghetti sauce you never should have eaten in white clothing. First, combine your ingredients in a spray bottle (make sure it’s dark, as hydrogen peroxide decomposes quickly in sunlight), shake it up. Then, after rinsing your stain with cool water, simply spray on your DIY stain remover and gently work it in. Before your eyes, the stain will start to fade pretty much instantly. A few minutes later, you can rinse off the solution and you’re good to go—no extra laundry required. It’s worth noting that while this trick works wonders without having to toss your clothes in
I failed #PlasticFreeJuly—and I’m so glad I did
August 16, 2019 at 05:00AM by CWC Last month, the #PlasticFreeJuly hashtag started popping up on some of the Instagram accounts I follow. At the time, I’d been deeply affected by The Guardian‘s series on plastic, and after I learned that that majority of plastic—even the stuff we toss in the blue bin—doesn’t get recycled (only 9 percent does), I made some simple changes (reusable mugs, cotton grocery totes) to reduce the amount of plastic I consumed. But a whole month of aggressively avoiding plastic? Now that was a greater, more daunting challenge. It’s not that I think plastic is the devil. Plastic can be good! It’s used in medical devices, cars, tools, and thousands of other items that make modern life possible. The problem, in my view, is that many of us are careless with plastic. It’s cheap, convenient, and omnipresent. As I embarked on #PlasticFreeJuly to see if I could radically reduce my plastic use, I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid plastic entirely. But maybe, just maybe, I could avoid buying it or consuming it. Here’s how things went. (Spoiler: not so smoothly.) Photo: Kate Trysh on Unsplash Groceries and food Shopping at the farmers market put plastic-free life within reach. I used Sunshine Series produce bags and brought my own containers for berries. Simple. Although the majority of farm stands still offered to wrap my produce in plastic, I politely declined. I felt like an earth-mama consumerist goddess. At the usual grocery store, things were
8 essential tools every healthy chef needs to master the meal prep life
August 16, 2019 at 04:00AM by CWC You know how people can spend hours falling down the Instagram rabbit hole of Bachelorette conspiracy theories or trying to figure out if Keanu Reeves is truly ageless? I, on the other hand, swoon over all the ways fitfluencers prep their meals in advance. Odd? Maybe. Inspiring? Most definitely. Here’s the thing about meal prep: It looks so attainable, so easy, so perfect, in the gridded world of Instagram. However, the process to actually achieving perfectly pre-packaged meals, however, requires a whole lot of time and effort—and I’ve always struggled to know how to start. To help bring my healthy foodie dreams to fruition, I chatted with registered clinical nutritionist Gabriela Peacock and registered dietician Jennifer Maeng, RD, CDN, of Chelsea Nutrition. They say that meal prep success comes down to three components: recipes, time, and tools. First and foremost, “make the foods you actually enjoy and want to eat,” Peacock says. “If you have a pre-prepared lunch that you hate, you’re way more likely to ignore it and end up browsing the snack aisle of your local shop.” Maeng agrees, saying that it’s best to prepare meals in advance that make your mouth water, versus preparing a boring meal that you’re pre-committing to eat in the future. (Need some ideas? You can’t go wrong with with this healthy meal plan.) It’s also crucial to factor in enough time to get all of your cooking done—and no, that doesn’t mean you have to
I tried a polyamorous relationship, and it kinda worked—until it didn’t
August 16, 2019 at 03:01AM by CWC I’ve never been particularly traditional, especially when it comes to relationships, but even I was thrown for a loop after falling in love with someone who “didn’t do monogamy.” Matt was a musician with a punk mentality who “didn’t do” much of anything conventional. At first, his argument against monogamy read to me like an argument for the sexual promiscuity so easily enabled by tour life. But when I told him there had been chaos in my childhood due to infidelity, he asked me if I thought that the constant turmoil, which resulted from the expectation of monogamy, was actually easier to deal with than the understanding that the expectation is unnatural and therefore shouldn’t be imposed. I had to admit I could see his point. Still, I more so agreed to try a polyamorous setup because I was head over heels and just wanted to continue the relationship, not because I actually wanted to do it. I wasn’t happy about it, either. I have a mean jealous streak, and knowledge of his relationships outside of ours made me crazy, especially because I couldn’t imagine seeing anyone else. Or at least, not at first. My two relationships were very different, and I was getting different needs met in both. Then, I met someone else who, for various reasons, wasn’t right for an all-or-nothing relationship either. So, I began to see them both, and eventually I was in love with two different people at
Asked and answered: Does getting acupuncture hurt—even a little bit?
August 16, 2019 at 02:35AM by CWC [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juOrU0HAjYA] Does acupuncture really help you relax? Watch the video to find out. As far as wellness trends go, acupuncture is basically the OG. In fact, it’s barely a trend at all—it’s an ancient wellness practice. Still, first-timers may have anxieties about that first session, which, in practice, can really infringe on an ability to Zen out. That’s why the latest episode of What the Wellness, the Well+Good YouTube series that follows producer Ella Dove as she unpacks the wildest practices of wellness, aims to quell that timeless question of “does acupuncture hurt?” “Acupuncture needles are the size of human hair, so because the needles are so small, acupuncture is actually a relaxing experience,” says Shari Auth, DACM, co-founder and chief healing officer of New York City-based acupuncture center WTHN. Auth, an acupuncturist, adds that the practice works with with your body’s connective tissue to send messages to your brain that alter brain chemistry. On a physical level, it functions similarly to a massage by loosening tight muscles and producing collagen. (So, yeah, sounds better and also completely different than syringes doctors stick you with.) “Acupuncture needles are the size of human hair, so because the needles are so small, acupuncture is actually a relaxing experience.” —acupuncturist Shari Auth, DACM At WTHN, sound therapy is melded into the treatment (on a heated table!) via beats and guided meditation. Dove selects “Chill” as her track of choice because, of course. She also opts
Can’t figure out why you’re upset? Just look to the ‘triangle of change’
August 15, 2019 at 04:00PM by CWC I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself feeling upset, and when my boyfriend or BFF asks “what’s wrong?” all that follows is extreme confusion. In fact, I often even feel this way when I personally try to introspect to decipher what the heck feels wrong. While I clearly sometimes have trouble understanding my emotions, a quick poll of my co-workers revealed to me that this is a way more common scenario than I initially realized. And that’s largely why I was so happy to discover the triangle of change. The triangle of change is a revolutionary (but actually classic) model for addressing the oh-so-common exchange of “what’s wrong?” “oh, nothing….” And it’s so necessary, because not much feels worse than being in a funk, yet not being able to find your way out because you can’t pinpoint the root cause of the bad feelings. When I first came upon this idea, dubbed “The Change Triangle” by psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, in a Psychology Today article, I finally felt seen. The thought behind it is that your emotions can stem from three basic elements: core emotions, inhibitory emotions, and defenses. Upon understanding each of those, pros say you’re instantly better equipped to handle those emotions, feelings, and concerns. “The triangle of change assists individuals in making sense of their emotions in the most tolerable way possible,” says psychotherapist Jennifer Silvershein, LCSW. “It’s largely supported by the tools we’re taught through
Society still has a pretty messed up way of talking about ‘healthy’ eating—here’s why that matters
August 15, 2019 at 03:00PM by CWC When I first started writing about food several years ago, I didn’t think twice about referring to mac and cheese as an “indulgence” or using the term “clean eating.” I tried to steer clear of talk about calorie counting, weight, or fad diets (so progressive, I thought!), but my tone in some ways still implied that certain styles of eating were better than others. I’ve since learned that healthy eating looks different for everybody. A promising new study from June even backs this up, finding that 60 percent of how a person’s body reacts to food is completely unrelated to their DNA. Our bodies all have slightly different needs, and while some things are objectively true (everyone could stand to eat some more vegetables!), there’s variation in the details. Some people might swear by the keto diet for revved-up energy levels and mental clarity, for example, while others might say the same about the Paleo diet or veganism. So why do so many of us—writers, nutrition experts, and researchers included—talk about food choices in very, well, judgmental ways? In the wellness world we may have moved on from praising “bikini bodies” and “cleansing,” but the words we choose to talk about healthy food so often imply (or scream outright) that certain ways of eating are inherently good and others are bad. The morality of food choices goes back a long way Nutrition is a relatively young science. The first government food guide, Farmer’s Bulletin,
These swimsuits double as sports bras, so I’ll be wearing them long past Labor Day
August 15, 2019 at 02:00PM by CWC I’ve long been a believer in strategic swimwear. I love when a triangle top that peeks out during a dance-floor move can be excused as a bathing suit, or a when bandeau bikini that gives new, family-gathering-appropriate life to a v-neck that might have otherwise been cut too low. In my opinion, a swimsuit styled with actual clothing is the definition of summer outfit perfection. And applying this double-duty move to activewear—aka wearing your bikini top as a sports bra—is not only stylish, but it’s actually a fairly logical move. For me, throwing on a supportive bathing suit and heading to a workout about the ease of wear, and also about getting twice the bang for your bathing suit buck… even if swimming isn’t even part of the equation that day. Practicing free yoga stretches in my living room to Amazon Prime’s finest instructors means that a torso-flattering Boys + Arrows Phil Top ($98) can provide just the right lines and lift without the pressure. And for frisbee tosses on the actual beach, Cover’s Swim Sports Bra ($100) is a real winner. This multitasking attitude has been everywhere lately, as brands give bikini/sports bra hybrids new life both in and out of the water. Photo: Summersalt Summersalt Mesh Diver Bikini Top ($50) Take Summersalt, the sustainable swimwear label who launched their activewear line this month with the intention of giving everything from halter bikini tops to color-blocked leggings a double meaning. Pulled on